


Problems

by GothamsQueen



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Affairs, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cheating, Co-Parenting, Dark Magic, Divorce, Domestic Fluff, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Lovers, Magic, Magic Revealed, Marital Problems, Marriage, My First Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parenthood, Possibly Unrequited Love, Regret, Seperation, Shameless Smut, Single Parents, Smut, Tags May Change, There's A Tag For That, Threesome - F/M/M, True Love, Unrequited Love, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:48:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21989779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothamsQueen/pseuds/GothamsQueen
Summary: Shane/Female Farmer/Sam love triangle8/2/20 UPDATING THIS STORY AGAINUPDATED SUMMARY:Sam realizes a little too late that he’s desperately fallen for his best friend, the farmer, Tessa. She’s married Shane, has kids, seems to be living her perfect life, until one day, he makes a move and she seems to fall in his arms. Sam makes some big decisions using the secret shrines in the witches hut, what will happen?Follow Tessa’s journey through it all
Relationships: Sam/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so since I’ve totally failed at creating a proper beginning story I’ll fill you in on all the important details you need to know before you read! 
> 
> Jas(9) lives with Shane and Tessa  
> Tessa and Shane adopted her niece Willow (7)  
> They recently had a daughter of their own, Kira (infant) 
> 
> They have been married for 2 years. Shane is clean and sober (has been for over a year)

Willow. Jas. Jas. Willow. Shane. Mine. Towel. Kira. Willow. Stupid tiny socks. Shane. Kira...

The humdrum of laundry is how I spent My Thursday’s. Shane took care of the animals before He went into Zuzu for his meeting, then counseling. He didn’t come home until close to 9pm, and in winter, I didn’t have many crops growing to worry for or harvest. So Thursday’s, I took care of the house and Kira. Jas and Willow went to Marnies after school, and today, Marnie offered to keep Kira so I could have some time to myself. 

“Yoooo, you home, Tess?!” Sam. He was so loud. 

“I’m down here, Sammy!” I yelled from  
The basement. He came barreling down the stairs, his guitar in tow as he hoped on top of my drier. 

“Can you listen to this tune? I have some lyrics but I just need some help” I nodded, smiling at my blonde haired friend. He always had this cute excited smile that was contagious. 

He started strumming, and I listened carefully as he played and “na na uh na” in places their weren’t lyrics written yet. 

“I guess second best, is all I will know, cause when I’m with her, I am thinking of you... nah nah uh nah, what would you do if you were the one, nah nah nah...” 

He stopped abruptly and looked at me, I was pairing up another pair of ridiculously tiny socks. 

“I think it’s really good start, Sammy. Are you and Penny okay though? Cause i totally have some questions about these lyrics that you do have” I said with a giggle. Sam kind of shrugged leaning over his guitar. 

“We’re okay, I guess. I just caught some feelings for this girl I can’t have...” he looked at me with these sad eyes I hadn’t seen for awhile from him. 

“Does Penny know your crushing on someone else?” I asked, folding Shane’s shirt and putting it into his pile. 

“Nah, and I don’t think this girl realizes it either, but I spend a ton of time with her, and I really shouldn’t like her, cause she’s in a relationship too... but here I am, stuck thinking about her, and, I’m a bit lost on what I should do”

“So naturally you put it in a song.” I added, smacking his arm lightly. 

“You get me.” He said with a smile. I nodded. I did the same thing and he knew it. I wrote everything about my life, my feelings and emotions. That was how our band worked. 

“Is it Abby?” Sam stares at me, completely befuddled by my guess, and he shook his head. 

“Nah, even if I did have feelings for her, I couldn’t ever do that to Seb, he’s been my best bud for waaaaay too long.”

I nodded in understanding, thinking of my words before I added in anything. 

“Are you close with the Dude of the girl you like? Would you leave Penny for her?” 

He didn’t even take time to think before he answered. “In a heartbeat, If I found out she felt the same.” This was super serious. “I’ve gotten to know the dude, he’s pretty alright.”

“But not alright enough that you wouldn’t mind stealing his girl?” I asked with a giggle. He shrugged with the mischievous grin he normally had, skidding off the drier to lean against it. “If you were the one who was, spending the night” I sang, in the tune of his song. 

“Yes! This is why I love you!” He shouted, picking his guitar back up and singing the entire verse back to me with my added line. 

“That sounds great, Sammy.” I added smiling softly at him. 

Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. At first, I stood in shock before I melted into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt his hands slide around my waist and pushing me into the wall beside my washer, pushing himself closer into me. 

He licked my lips, beginning me for entrance and against all judgment I should have had, I let him. 

Our tongues danced around each other, he tasted like the spearmint gum he had in his mouth. He bit my bottom lip, causing me to moan, which just added fuel to sams fire. 

In the heat of the moment , he picked me up and carried me upstairs to my bedroom laying me gently on the bed. Kissing and nipping into the small of my neck. My fingers tangled into his hair, another moan escaping my lips. He was hovering over me, my legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel him grow against me. His right hand balance him over top of me as he slid his hand down to my shirt, his hand touching my skin, sending cold chills up my body. 

He paused, almost worried I would push him away, instead, I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and yanked it over his head diving up for his lips. The sexual tension between us finally melting into the passionate affair before us. 

Just as quickly as his his shirt was yanked away, so was mine. Exposing my breasts to him. I hadn’t been wearing a bra since I was In the comfort of my home. 

“Fuck” he whispered softly staring in excitement at my large chest, he grabbed them in his hands, rolling my nipples between his fingers. I moaned loudly, I was so turned on by the man before me i couldn’t think straight. He leaned his mouth down to my chest, taking it into his mouth and rolling my tit around with his tongue. 

I reached down tugging at his pants. It had been a long time since I had felt this wanted by someone. Mine and Shane’s life had turned into a boring routine that was incredibly hard to escape. 

Feeling the tugging on his pants, Sam lifted away to unbutton them, I sat up to help him tugging his pants and boxers away faster than I myself had anticipated, grabbing his member in my hand. Sam returned the gesture with a moan, removing my shorts and panties, and rubbing my slit. Leaning into my ear “you’re so got damn wet for me, huh?” 

I nodded, moaning in response, the sultry tone in his voice about sending me over the edge. He slid a finger in, then two pumping them slowly in and out of me. 

“Saaaaaam.” I moaned softly. His warm breath in my ear again

“You’re so fucking hot, Tess.” I responded by nipping his ear and bucking my hips into his fingers, begging for more than the little bit of relief his fingers were providing me. 

I could feel him smile into my neck, as I tugged on him. Moving his cock closer to my pussy. I could feel him twitch with each moan that escaped my lips. 

He finally pulled his fingers out of me, letting me guide him to my entrance, and with a quick thrust, he was inside me, a long moan escaped his lips. I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to plow deeper into me, my moans becoming longer. His hands explored my body while he thrusted, taking me in with his eyes. I was too lost in the ecstasy to think of anything other than the pleasure I felt.

“Oh, fuck, Sam...” I moaned, I felt my climax approaching. My walls tightened around his cock and I could feel him releasing himself inside me. He pushed me back on the bed so he could lay beside me after he pulled out. I felt the smile on my face, as my breaths were Heavy. I felt Sam pull me up to lay on his chest, and my eyes fell to my bedside table, where my wedding photo sat. I smiling at the camera, white gown on, Jas in a sweet little babydoll dress infront of us, Shane was holding willow on his hip, and he looked so handsome in that tux. Yet during that moment when we were all looking at the camera. He was looking at me with love and adoration, the way the princes do in all the Disney movies. 

I messed up big. 

I sat up and got off the bed.  
“Get out....” I whispered, tears filling my eyes.


	2. I don’t deserve you

“Get out....” I whispered, tears filling my eyes.

“Tess, can we talk-“

“Absolutely not, this shouldn’t have happened. I LOVE Shane, Sam. This was a mistake.” The tears were falling down my face as I threw sams clothes at him. “This would destroy Shane, he can’t know... no one can know, Sam” 

“Tell me that what just happened meant nothing. That you didn’t feel that spark.” Sam spoke, I could feel him behind me as I pulled on my shirt. 

“Sammy, get out. I can’t do this...” I spoke softly stepping into my shorts. 

“Tell me the truth, and I’ll leave. Tell me you didn’t want this too, and mean it.”

I took a long deep breath. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I hadn’t thought about it before. Especially when we performed together in Zuzu. But I always thought it was just the tension of being on stage, ‘putting on a show’ if you would. 

“I can’t tell you that, Sammy. But what I can say is that I love my husband, and our kids... Sammy this would destroy my family. This can’t happen.” His blue eyes stared at me, searching my face for any answers he could find. He stepped forward, taking my face into his hand, and kissing me softly. 

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me” he spoke softly, his forehead rested against mine. He kissed me once more and left without another word. 

I needed a shower. I felt gross and disgusting. My mind swirled with the thoughts of how I betrayed my husband as I undressed and turned the water as hot as it would go. I stepped into the shower and continued to beat myself up mentally. Shane would be home with the girls in a couple hours. I took my time showering. Washing my hair, shaving my legs, exfoliating. All the actual self care things marnie had intended for me when she offered to keep Kira. 

After my shower, I put on Shane’s old gridball jersey and some panties. I needed to feel close to my husband until he got home. I scrunched the extra water out of my blonde curls and then headed to the kitchen to cook supper. 

To my surprise, Shane was already home with my favorite pizza from Zuzu on the table with candles burning. 

“What’s all this?” I asked, Shane looking up from his phone at me. 

“I figured you deserved a night off, you’ve been so busy with the girls and the farm, we haven’t had much time for us ...” Shane smiled, his eyes lit up like a kid during winter Star. It could have been the actual winter star tree in our living room making it feel so magical. I wasn’t sure. “Sit down babe, I got you something” 

I did as he said and he pulled out a Tiffany blue box with silver ribbon, sliding it across the table. I looked at him with shock. 

“What’s this for?” I asked Holding the elongated box in my hands. 

“Just call it an early winter star gift from the girls and I.” I opened the box slowly to reveal a beautiful necklace. Two beautiful gemstones at the top, with three smaller ones in a line below it. I covered my mouth in shock “honey..”

“The two stones at the top represent us, and the three smaller ones are Jas, Willow, and Kira.” Shane spoke. Before he could even finish I was in tears. Covering my face with one hand and holding the necklace in the other. 

“I don’t deserve you” I cried. Shane laughed walking over, and kneeling next to my chair, pulling me into a hug. He smelled of cedarwood and pine. I wrapped my arms around him, tears falling onto his shoulder. 

“You can’t steal my lines, babe. I’m definitely the one who’s not worthy of a goddess like you.”

If i didn’t feel fucking stupid before, I did now. I wiped my face and kissed Shane on the lips, taking his face in my hands. I kissed him as hard as I could, and it wasn’t long before he picked me up and took me back to our bedroom. 

I know it wasn’t right, I felt dirty from having betrayed my husband just hours earlier, but I needed him. I needed Shane. I needed to know that I was still as desperately in love with him as I was 3 years ago at the docks. That we still had that spark, that heat and passion like we did before. 

And as I laid there in the moonlight, tangled up with him, his bare skin against mine, I knew that what I did with Sam was just that, A mistake. 

My phone started buzzing, I easily reached over and grabbed my phone, not to wake my sleeping husband. He breathed deeply in his sleep as I moved, letting out a soft snore. I looked at the notification on my phone. 

“Sammy: thinking of you, I’m sorry if I screwed things up with us.”

I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh to think, as another buzz came through. 

“Sammy: left my guitar in your basement, can I come over tomorrow to grab it?” I sighed, laying my head into the crook of Shane’s neck, taking in the sent of pine. 

“Tessa: we are fine. Of course you can grab it tomorrow.” 

He responded to me with a smiley face and a heart, I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I put my phone back on it’s charger. Shane sleepily kissed the top of my head and he fell back into his deep slumber. 

If there was one thing I knew, Shane couldn’t know what I did with Sam. It would destroy everything I worked so hard for. Our family, his sobriety. I couldn’t do that.


	3. No time for moping

The next morning I woke up to a cold bed, my stomach dropped wondering if Shane somehow knew what I did and left, until I heard the shower running. I let out a deep sigh, letting my worried fall to the wayside. 

Remembering that the girls had stayed with Marnie the night before, I slinked out of bed and into our bathroom where Shane was showering. The room was filled with steam, as I opened the door and snuck into the shower, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, kissing his back between his shoulder blades. 

“Good morning Mrs. Daniels” he spoke softly

“Good morning, Mr. Daniels.” I replied, trailing my finger up and down his stomach to his waist line, letting out a sleepy yawn. Shane turned around, wrapping his arms around my neck, pulling me in for a hug. I slipped one hand down and grabbed his somewhat hard cock in my hand, feeling it harden in my hand with each stroke. 

“Two times in less than 24 hours?” He asked with a small laugh. I smiled up at him, getting down on my knees and grabbing his thighs as wrapped my lips around his member. He let out a small moan as I bobbed my head on his cock, swirling my tongue around it, getting more aroused with every moan he made. I grabbed his balls and began to rub them as I sucked his cock, the moans escaping his mouth getting deeper. I reached down with one of my hands to play with my slit, rubbing it to give myself some sort of relief. I looked up at Shane who pushed my blonde hair back and thrusted himself deep into my throat. My moan stifled by his large cock. 

Shane pulled himself out of my mouth, lifting me to my feet and carrying me out of the shower to our bed. He laid me on the edge of the bed, and got on his knees to return the favor. 

He was amazing at returning the favor. His five o’clock shadow, adding more pleasure as he tongue fucked me. My fingers tangled into his hair, moans escaping my lips. 

He lifted up, positioning his cock at my entrance running his hand up my body to my wrists, placing them above my head, and holding them with one of his large hands. He kissed my neck, ands my collarbone, suckling on the soft spot, making me moan again. 

“Please...” I begged, his warm breath on my neck. 

“Please, what?” He asked assertively 

“Shaaaaaane. Please fuck me” I asked, more frustrated he was making me beg. Even if it was hot. Shane pusher his tip in, causing me to gasp before pulling back out. 

“Shane!” I exclaimed, bucking my hips to get closer to him. 

“That’s right say my name.” He again only inserted the top of his cock before pulling out again. 

“Shane. Stop teasing me, please. Just fuck me” and just like that he pounded himself entirely inside of me. Quickly, and hard, causing me to reach a climax faster than I expected. He slowed down a bit as I moaned, and dug my nails into the part of his hand I could reach. 

“That’s right, beautiful, ride out that orgasam” when I calmed down, he began fucking me harder again, trying to get another long orgasam out of me. If there was one thing Shane did was make sure I was totally satisfied in bed. 

He grunted, throwing my legs up on his shoulders to get deeper into me, I cried out in pleasuring feeling his big cock fill me. 

“Shaaaaaaane” I moaned loudly 

“Ah, fuck Tess” he moaned, “you’re so fucking hot”

And then any hope of orgasm disappeared. This perfect, hot, sexy moment with my husband ruined because of that statement. 

Sam said the same thing to me. And now, as my husband rode out his climax inside of me, the only thing I could think about was Sam doing the same thing to me yesterday. 

Shane pulled out kissing my neck. “I love you so much, Tessa Daniels” I smiled, I loved that after all this time he still used my married name like he couldn’t believe I was his. 

“I love you too, babe.” Be kissed my lips and started walking back to the bathroom. 

“I’m going to go pick up the girls in a bit. I think we’re going to hang out with Aunt Marnie for awhile, I haven’t really spent time with her in a few weeks” Shane spoke loudly from the bathroom as he cleaned himself up. I sat up off the bed, walking towards him. 

“That’s fine, love. I have to check in on the animals, their heaters and the jams, I can meet y’all at the saloon for dinner around 6though?” Shane smiled at me through the mirror as he combed his hair. 

“That sounds perfect babe, what can I do before I go?” 

I smiled at my husband, taking him in as I thought. 

“If you could take care of the chicken coops before you go, that’d be great, I know the heater in Charlie’s coop needs to be replaced for sure.” I added kissing his lips, and starting the shower for myself. 

“I’ll take care of it, love” he smiled at me before leaving. 

-

I was out in the barn with my cows, fixing the heater, mucking the stalls, and what not when Sam showed up. 

“Hey, I went in your house and you weren’t there so I came looking for you” his voice was the quietest I had ever heard him. 

“Yeah, I had work to do today. These sweet babies don’t take care of themselves.” I added, petting one of my cows faces. “Did you get your guitar?” I asked, looking at him in the face for the first time since we did the thing just the day prior. 

“Yeah. Where’s Shane?” He asked, moving in closer to me. I stiffened my body. 

“He’s with Marnie and Kira.” I spoke quickly, moving around him to check the feeder. 

“Ah. Gotcha. Left you to do all the work?” He asked, again, closing in on me. 

“He did a few things before he left.” I said turning, almost face to face with his gorgeous blue eyes. I searched his face for his intentions. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you..” he spoke softly, laying his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes, to regain control of my senses. 

“Sammy, we can’t do this.” I said with a deep sigh. And then his lips were on mine. A soft sweet kiss that sent butterflies to my stomach. I pulled back shaking my head. “I’m happily married, Sam.” He pushed a strand of hair out of my green eyes. The leaned in and kissed me once more. 

“If that’s so true why do you keep letting me kiss you.” I let out a soft moan as lips slid against mine. He pulled away and I left my eyes shut, waiting for him to kiss me again. When I opened them, he was smiling at me, knowing a point was being proven. 

“I’m not leaving my husband, Sam. I’m not breaking up my family for some... fling” I spoke, turning around, heading to a different part of the barn. He grabbed my arm, leaning his mouth down to my ear, his warm breath sending goosebumps all over my body. 

“I don’t think this is a fling, and I don’t think you think so either, admit you feel that spark each time you kiss me” his voice was soft and sultry. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. 

“You’re with Penny, I’m married to Shane. This is a fling, a mistake, for BOTH of us.” I stated, turning to look him in the eyes once more, to make my point clear. 

“Making love to you yesterday will never be a mistake” he whispered. “I’d leave penny today for you, say the word”

I shook my head. “I love my husband.” Sam kissed me once more, quickly, and walked out of the barn. 

I slid down the barn wall and held my head in my hands. This was only getting harder. I wanted Sam. I loved Shane and our family and I had a feeling both of them wouldn’t be cool with a polygamist relationship... I let out a deep sigh and checked my watch, I didn’t have time to mope, I had to get the animals cared for so I could meet Marnie, Shane, and the girls for dinner.


	4. I can’t do this

I slid into the booth beside Jas, Shane on her other side, willow and Marnie across from us, with Kira in her arms. 

“Hey mama!” Jas expresses excitedly, hugging me. I held her close, my heart melting at her calling me mama, it was something she had only started doing since I was pregnant with Kira. 

“Did you have fun with Aunt Marnie?” I asked, both older girls nodded their heads excitedly. 

“They were great, they always are.” Marnie spoke, staring at little Kira in her arms. “If you would have told me four years ago, that I’d be sitting here now with Shane and his wife, and kids, I probably just would have laughed. He was such a mess then” Shane sighed and looked down as she spoke, the memories of his drunken days and stupors flooding his brain. “But now look at you, son! You’re sober, you have a beautiful family. Your raising two of those girls out of the kindness of your heart, Shane, I’m so proud of you honey” Shane beamed at his aunt, he wasn’t used to compliments from her. I reached my hand over and rubbed his arm, smiling softly at him. 

After dinner, we took the girls home to get them in bed. Shane settles down on the couch turning on a gridball game. 

“Would you care if I went back to the saloon to play some pool with the band?” 

Shane looked at me and smiled, shaking his head. 

“Go ahead, babe. Tell them hey for me” I walked over to him and kissed him softly. 

“I will, after Sam loses to Seb for the 4000th time” I said with a giggle. He turned his attention back to the game, waving me goodbye. 

Honestly, I had originally had no intentions of meeting them tonight for pool, but I had an ache in my chest to see Sam, even though I knew I should be staying far away until these feelings faded. I walked into the saloon, seeing Marnie flirt with mayor Lewis and headed to the game room. The boys were playing pool and Abby was on her phone on the couch in the corner. 

I sat next to her, the couch bouncing a tad as I sat down. 

“Hey girl, the husband let you out?” She asked giggling. I rolled my eyes shoving her. 

“He’s not my keeper, we just have kids we have to take care of” I said matter of factly. “He’s watching a gridball game, so he has the kids. Kira is finally sleeping through the night, so it’s not a big deal if one of us leaves” I added. 

I felt Sams eyes on me as I talked with Abby, I’d glance over to him occasionally, him giving me a smirk each time. 

I ended up settling in on the couch, my feet in abbys lap as I played on my phone while Sam lost horribly, checking in with Shane ever so often. 

“Tessa: the girls still sleeping?  
Hubby: like babies. Enjoy your time with your friends. Everything is fine.   
Tessa: miss you 😘   
Hubby: miss you. Have fun.”

“Damn it. I’m going to get you one day, Sebastian!” Sam yelled, I looked up from my phone. Surprise, surprise, Sam lost again. 

“Guys I’m calling it a night, I’m exhausted” Abby said standing up stretching. “Dad has me working a double tomorrow” 

Seb grabbed his jacket, throwing it over Abbys shoulders. “I’ll walk you home, night guys” I gave a small wave, and Sam told them goodnight. 

And then we were alone. His eyes focused in on me. I stood up, making comment that I should also head home. 

“I’ll walk you, Shane wouldn’t forgive me if something happened to you.” I rolled my eyes nodding my head for Sam to come on. 

As we walked north through town, he stopped as we entered the are between town and my home, grabbing my hand. 

“Sam...” I trailed looking towards the road to my home. 

“No one is out this late, listen, we need to talk” I took a deep breath and sat on the ground, leaning against a tree. 

“Alright, go on.” I added, patting the spot beside me. He sat down, looking me in my eyes 

“Why did you come out tonight?”

“We always play pool on Fridays-“

“Ever since you’ve had Kira you don’t come. What the real reason?”

I took a deep breath, running my fingers back through my curls. 

“I wanted to see you...” I said quietly, looking into my lap. 

“Tell me there’s not a spark between us...” he trailed off as his face leaned in closer to mine. 

“I- I can’t do tha-“ his lips crashed into mine, pulling me in his lap. He kissed me passionately without hesitation, squeezing my hips. I pulled away, resting my head against his. 

“Just because I can’t admit there’s not a spark between us, doesn’t mean I can keep doing this.” I added softly. He leaned his face into my hand

“I’m sorry, Tess. I respect that you want your marriage to work and you don’t want to break up your family, I get that. I won’t ever force you to do something you don’t want, but I love you, Tess. I have for a long time. If you ever leave Shane, I’ll be here waiting.”

I let out a deep sigh. “That’s not going to happen, Sammy” I said, staring into his sad blue eyes. I got out of his lap and put my hand out to help him out. 

“Go home, Sammy, ill see you Sunday.” He half smiled at me walking away towards town, and I headed towards home. 

Shane had fallen asleep on the couch, I smiled at how peaceful he looked and curled myself in with him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me, still asleep. 

I let myself fall asleep in his arms for the night. This is where I belong.


	5. His tone would be different

I woke up the next morning in bed cuddled up to Shane. He was already awake when I opened my eyes, quietly watching television. 

“Jas made her and Willow cereal for breakfast. Kira is still sleeping” Shane almost whispered. I nodded, snuggling in closer to him. He kissed the top of my head. Saturday’s were family, for us. 

“Maybe we can take the girls out to play in the snow during Kira’s nap later.” I suggested, watching the rerun gridball game Shane had on. “I’ve been thinking about enrolling Willow into a kids gridball team, she would love it” 

“She could really get hurt playing gridball” Shane responded. He did know first hand. 

“She’s not like Jas who wants to be a ballerina. Willow is a Tomboy and probably the closest thing to a son you’re ever going to get” I laughed. He shrugged into me. 

“We don’t know what Kira is going to be like yet. She could be into sports” 

“She could be. Or she could be a princess like your other daughter” I added with a giggle kissing his cheek. He rolled his eyes a bit. “ I’m just saying, if we let our older girls ride horses one of them is doing barrel racing, and it’s not Jas.” Shane shook his head and laughed, knowing I was right. 

Our bedroom door popped open shortly after that conversation, with Jas holding the baby in the doorway and Willow barreling into our bed. 

“The suns awake now!” She giggled, cuddling between Shane and I “and Kira. She’s awake too” I giggled, sitting up and scooping willow into my arms. 

“I can see that Will, I also see something... riiiight, here!” I began tickling her and I felt the bed shift; and watched Shane take Kira from Jas, ushering her into the living room. Willow and I joined them. 

I turned the television on to Disney and walked into the kitchen where Shane was studying the contents of our fridge, most likely looking for something quick to fix. He was still holding Kira in his arms, feeding her a bottle of my breast milk. I couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Being a Daddy looks good on you.” I thought out loud more than anything, he peered over at me with a smirk. 

“Good enough to have another one?” 

The question caught me off guard, so naturally, like any other sane human who gets caught off guard. I laughed. And laughed. 

“Heck no, Maybe when Kira is a bit bigger and almost out of diapers. 2 under 2 does not sound like something I wanna try.” Shane sauntered over, leaning down to my ear, to whisper out of ear shot of the bigs. 

“Can’t blame me for trying, the act of making babies is what we’re good at” I felt a shiver down my spine, and smacked his arm with a flirty smile.

“Willoooooooow. Stop taking my pillow!” Jas whined from the living room. “Get your own!”

“But yours is so squishable! And it’s shaped like an itsy bitsy panda” Willow retorted squeezing the squishmallow pillow. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for one, Willow, so you can leave your sisters alone.” I spoke over the whining of the girls. 

Willow almost threw the stolen pillow back to its rightful owner. 

“Come on girls, wanna bake some cookies?” The girls leaped up running into the kitchen. 

“Cookies for breakfast?” Shane asked with a chuckle. I shrugged 

“They’ve already eaten cereal, what’s some cookies going to hurt?” Shane leaned down, kissing me softly and slowly, gaining a duet of “eeeeeeew”’s from our older kids. We smiled at them, and Shane responded. 

“It’s good for you two to see your parents so desperately in love and committed to one another. I pray to yoba that you two find some lucky schmuck who loves you as much as I love your mom” 

My heart melted. This man worshiped the ground I walked on and I betray him by sleeping with my best friend. I tried to hide the pain and disappointment in myself, I just prayed to yoba they were faithful when they found someone as perfect to them as Shane was to me. That they didn’t betray the trust of the man (or woman) that loved them deeper than anything else. 

For a moment I wondered if I should tell Shane about my seedy moments with Sam, tell him it meant nothing and beg him not leave, even though I would understand if he did... 

And as if there was some que he was waiting for, I recieved a text from Sam. 

“Sammy: 👋🏻 hey.   
I’m sorry again, and I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t stop thinking about the other night. If it never happens again, I still think I’m the luckiest man in the world to have gotten to make love to you. 

I know you won’t break up your family for me, I get that. Really. But I miss you. I want to hold you in my arms and not let you go. I want to raise kids with you. I want to live on that farm and chase down chickens and pig and fix fences and stuff. 

I know this is long, and I know you’re with Shane and the girls, just needed all this off my chest. 

I love you, even if you don’t feel the same way (even though I think you’re just denying it, or you wouldn’t let me kiss those sweet lips of yours) 

See you at church in the morning, beautiful. 

Xx”

“What a novel” Shane responded, looking over my shoulder. I jumped and flipped my phone down, praying that Shane hadn’t read anything in the message. 

“Sam is having some trouble with Penny, he just needed advice” I responded quickly, leaning up and kissing Shane’s lips, for a moment wishing he was Sam. Then hating myself for that very thought. 

“What’s the problem?”

Tread lightly, Tessa. 

“He’s caught feelings for another girl, that he can’t have cause she’s in a relationship and he won’t leave penny because, you know, he can’t have the other girl. But you know, he just feels lost I think” 

Smooth, Tessa. Real smooth. 

Shane thought about it for a moment before responding. 

“Before Jas, I was kind of in a similar situation” I stopped what I was doing to listen. Shane didn’t often talk about his time before the valley and Jas, so when he did I soaked it in. “I was dating this girl, Becky-“

“With the good hair?”

“Shut up.” He retorted with a chuckle “anyway, I caught feelings for this girl that ran around with our group, me and beck, Jas’ parents, and a few other guys. I fell hard for Amanda. Like ready to marry her and wanted her to have my babies kind of love”

“Hey!” I responded with a pretend offended look, Shane rolled his eyes, over my drama, and continued talking. 

“You didn’t exist yet, anyways, I was so scared of hurting Beck, I never pursued anything with Amanda. And the sad thing is, when I got custody of Jas after her parents died, Becky left because she wasn’t prepared to be a parent... maybe there’s a reason that Sam caught feelings for this other girl, maybe she’s what he needs and the other people, Penny and the chicks boyfriend, are just stepping stones towards that.”

I had a feeling if he knew the truth his tone right now would be totally different. But I nodded and told Shane I’d pass Sam along the information. Then immediately deleted that text from Sam. 

We spent the rest of the day playing with the girls and enjoying our time as a family. My mind on occasionally wandering to Sam.


	6. You’re mine

The next morning I did myself up for church. Which wasn’t completely unusual, but out of the ordinary enough for my doting husband to notice. 

“Damn, you look hot” he spoke from the doorway, I looked myself over, I had on cute leggings with dainty crosses on them, and a gray blouse that showed off just the right amount of cleavage. I looked at my husband with a smile, tosseling my hair once more 

“You could always skip service in lay in bed with me” Shane whispered in my ear, his hand on my hip pulling me closer to him. I smiled into the kiss he planted on me. 

“I would love to, but I’m performing with Sam today” I spoke softly back to him. 

“Daddy, mama, Can I go play with Vincent for a bit after church?” Jas soft voice rang through our bedroom, Shane shrugged. 

“I don’t care, Willow wanted to ride with me over a couple towns to deliver some eggs.” Shane added. 

“You’re not going to church with us?” Jas asked Shane shrugged 

“I guess we can. Will and I will leave afterwards” 

Shane hated church, he wasn’t a Yoba believer. He just had a hard time telling any of his girls no. 

We went through the normal routine of service. We prayed to yoba, Pierre read some scripture, and then Sam and I ended the service with an acoustic performance. 

Every time we did this it felt like Sam was singing to me. Whatever love song about Yoba, we were singing it was like he was really singing to me. So as I belted our the lyrics about Yobas unfailing love, Sam didn’t take his eyes off me. 

Service ended and I quickly found Shane to tell him and Willow bye, and to have a good day in Crestwood delivering eggs and a couple of his blue chicks. 

“Babe, can we talk for a minute before we go?” Shane asked softly, a look in his eye I wasn’t sure of. 

“Yeah sure, Marnie would you mind?” I asked handing her Kira. Shane nodded to Marnie and put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me outside and around to the side of the house. I was suddenly incredibly worried, my heart in my stomach. 

“Is if you?” Was all Shane said, I knew exactly what he meant, but attempted to seem confused. 

“Is what me?”

“The girl Sam’s in love with” 

I stared at Shane, searching his eyes, looking at the worry and fear that lived in them. My heart broke knowing what the truth would do to him. 

“Why would you think that?” I responded, grabbing his hand to hold it. 

“It’s something about the way he looks at you when you perform together. I never really realized it until today... it’s the same exact way I look you, completely amazed and infatuated” I took a deep breath and wrapped him into a hug. 

“You have nothing to worry about, Shane Daniels.” I lied. “I wouldn’t leave you for all the riches in the world.” While that last part wasn’t a lie, I felt horrible for trying to ward off his fairly places fears. His strong arms wrapped around me, kissing the top of my head. “Besides, if it is me, he’s made no mention of it” just keep lying to your husband, Tessa. It’s cool. 

Shane smiled down at me, leaning down and kissing me softly, and per my normal reaction, I melted into him the same way I did during our first kiss at that gridball game a few years ago. He pulled away kissing my forehead, and waving to Sam and his family, grabbing willow from Marnie and headed back towards the farm. I walked up to them, Jas and Kira in hand. Jas running a bit ahead with Vincent. 

“You two sang beautifully this morning” Jodi added. I smiled thanking her. As we entered the house. I took Jas’ jacket off her, hanging it on the hook at the front of the home and the two youngins took off to Vincent’s room. 

“Ma, could you watch Kira for a bit, there’s something I want to go over with Tess with for the band” Sam piped. Jodi looked more than gleeful taking the small baby into her arms. 

“Go right ahead you two, I got this” I smiled at Kira trying to giggle at the woman holding her as I walked back to sams room. 

He closed the door quietly and locked it. I was too caught up in wondering what he wanted to show me to even notice. He started playing some music in his computer...

“I’ve missed you so fucking much” Sam spoke softly, sending goosebumps all over my body, I tried to speak, to tell him I couldn’t do this, but my mind and body had other plans as he pinned me against the wall of his bedroom, kissing me aggressively. My hand found themselves getting tangled in his hair as he began to rub me through my clothes. I let out a tiny whimper as he whispered in my ear “you have to be quiet, there are ears everywhere in here” 

For some reason, that made this moment of our affair all that more hotter. Knowing my kids were just in the other rooms, so were his parents, that we could be caught at any time. 

I knew I should have stopped him. Told him to quit, but every time this happened, I got so caught up in the passion and desire. He slipped his hand into my leggings, rubbing my slit. My breaths became labored and heavy. 

“Tell me what you want, Tess” he whispered in my ear, nibbling on my lobe. I let out a small moan, biting my lower lip as he kissed down my neck and my chest.

He got to my waistline and pulled my leggings down to my feet, positioning himself at my pussy, rubbing his hands around my ass and thighs. 

“I wonder if you taste as sweet as you are” Sam seductively wondered, looking up with his lustful blue eyes. “Do you want me too?” He asked, inching his face closer. I took a deep breath and nodded my head, he waisted no time, throwing one of my legs into his should so he get fully enveloped in my womanhood. Lapping at my clit, while pumping his fingers in and out of me. 

He was sloppier than Shane was, less experienced. But considering the age gap, I wasn’t quite surprised. Sam was only a year younger than me, but 9 years younger than Shane. None the less, Whatever he was doing didn’t feel horrible, it just made me miss my husbands mouth. 

Sam pulled away standing up and pulling down his pants to reveal his hard cock. I was hungry for it, I threw my leg over his shoulder, holding on to his biceps, he positioned him self at my entrance. 

“You want it?” He asked teasingly, pushing his tip in slowly. I nodded “please, fuck me” I whispered in his ear. He plunged himself deep into me, letting out a moan of pleasure. 

“You’re so fucking wet for me” he whispered as he thrusted in and out of me. I moaned Sams name as I reached my climax he took a deep breath and plunged into me one last time. I felt his cock pulse inside of me as he filled me with his hot cum. He breathed heavily into my neck as he put his cock away. I swallowed hard, suddenly very aware of my betrayal again. I closed my eyes, putting my pants back on. 

I unlocked the door and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. My phone buzzed 

“Hubby: Will and I made it to Crestwood. Got the chickens settled. Be back soon. We love you.” I felt like shit. I was seriously the worst person in the valley and it was just like I couldn’t stop myself every time Sam was around. I popped into Vincent’s room where Jas and him were playing quietly. 

“Hey sweetie, we need to be getting home, Daddy and willow will be back soon” I stated. 

“She can stay awhile if she would like! I’ll have Samson walk her home later” Jodi chimed from the living room. Kira was snuggled up on Kent’s chest as he watched the game. 

“Please mama?” Jas asked with puppy dog eyes. I pushed her bangs out of her face and made a mental note to take her and Willow for haircuts soon and agreed to the arrangement. I carefully picked Kira up off Kent’s chest, to not wake her, and thanked them for watching her so Sam and I could work on that song, and started my trek home. Kiras little head laid on my shoulder as she snoozed. She could sleep through just about anything. My phone buzzed once more 

“Sammy: can’t even say goodbye?  
Tessa: no. I shouldn’t have done that.   
Sammy: but we did.   
Tessa: yeah. And it HAS to stop, Sammy.   
Sammy: you keep saying that, yet every time I get you alone....  
Tessa: I can’t hang out alone with you anymore. Seriously. We’re done.   
Sammy: if you say so”

I’m not sure what made me more frustrated, the fact he didn’t believe me, or the fact I didn’t believe myself at this point...

-

After supper, I was cuddled up with Shane on the couch, Willow and the baby were already asleep for the night. 

“Is Jas staying the night with Vincent?” Shane’s voice asked softly, rubbing his fingers up and down my arm. I shook my head. “Sam is supposed to be bringing her home.” 

Shane nodded “go on and call him.”

Right. Call Sam. The man I’ve been having an affair with and you some how don’t have a freaking clue. I took a deep breath and dialed his number. 

“Yo, didja miss me?” I rolled my eyes, knowing Shane could hear sams loud voice. 

“You wish, are you on your way with Jas yet?”

“I do wish, but yeah, were at the south end of the farm, passing the pond” 

“Okay see you soon.” I hung up, avoiding Shane’s stare. 

“It is you” he almost whispered. 

“Shane, honey, it’s just some stupid crush he will get over it”

“Tessa you’ve been alone with him.”

“Shane, I’ve told you, you have nothing to worry about...” Shane stood up abruptly, headed to the front door he saw Jas and Sam walking up the porch. 

“Hey sweetie, didja have fun?” Jas nodded with a big yawn. “Go get in bed, mama and I will be up in a minute. I sat on the couch watching as Jas sauntered up the stairs. And turned my attention to Shane as he made sure Jas was in her room before turning to Sam. 

Unexpectedly, he grabbed Sam by the shirt collar and threw him against the door.

“Shane!” I fussed. 

“Stay the fuck away from my wife.” He spat, Sam honestly looked scared, looking toward me. “Don’t look at her, don’t think about her, stay. The fuck. Away.” 

“Dude, I don’t-“ 

“Get off my property. Get the fuck out.” Shane dripped Sam, and he walked out the door. Shane closed the door and turned to me. 

I wasn’t sure what to say, although I was oddly turned on by seeing Shane so worked up over me. 

“Are you going to leave me?” He asked, walking towards the fridge. 

“Honey, of course not. I love you, Shane.” I stood up walking towards him. 

“I literally told you to tell him to pursue it. I thought it was about Abby, had I known-“ 

“Shane, babe, I didn’t even tell him that.”

“You didn’t... you knew?” I closed my eyes taking a deep breath trying to find the words that wouldn’t set me up to incriminate myself. 

I grabbed his hand. “I love YOU, Shane Daniels. You. Not Sam.” He searched my face looking for answers I was praying weren’t there. He kissed my forehead. “I’m going to check on Jas. I’ll be right back.” I took a deep breath, drinking some water. Shane came back down almost immediately. 

“She must have been worn out, she passed out in her coat.” He told me with a chuckle. 

“You know, it was kinda hot how jealous you got” I said, he walked over to me, lifting me into our countertop, I kissed his lips softly. 

“You think so?” He asked “you are mine, and only mine,” Shane said briskly, nipping and sucking at my neck, causing me to moan. 

“Show me, then” I told him as he rubbed his hand down my thigh. 

And in the first time since we were on our honeymoon, we made love for hours that night, into the wee hours of the morning when we were both to exhausted to go anymore. 

I fell asleep in his arms, relieved that this thing with Sam was over.


	7. That can’t be right

I was really excited; it was finally spring, my first round of crops were starting to grow, The animals were out, and it was my birthday so that meant I spent the morning with Dr. Harvey. 

I hadn’t spoken with Sam since the incident at my house about a month ago. Shane and I were in a great place in our marriage, even though he still didn’t know about the affair. 

I sat up on the exam table as Dr. Harvey went over the typical health questions. 

“I know some of these seem silly, but I have to ask. Are you using drugs?”

“No”

“Drinking alcohol?” 

“Not since Shane’s been sober”

“That’s great that you’re supporting him like that, that’s what he needs. Sexually active?”

“I would be worried about my marriage if we weren’t” I joked, Harvey let out a small laugh. 

“Are you using some form of birth control?”

My response came in the form of a laugh. “It took us awhile of trying to get pregnant with Kira, we haven’t exactly been concerned.” He nodded jotting down notes in my file. 

“I’m going to run a pregnancy test on your blood just to be sure.” I shrugged. “I’ll be right back” 

I leaned against the wall while I waited, sending Shane an update, when I got a text from a name I hadn’t seen in awhile. 

“Sammy: Happy Birthday, beautiful. I’m still here.” I felt that flutter in my stomach. I thought I was over this whole fling until that. I beat my head softly against the wall, and against my better judgement responded with a simple thanks, and a heart. 

Harvey walked back in a few moments later

“Well I’d say congratulations are in order...” Harvey started. I looked at him, curious, as he rolled the ultra sound machine in behind him. I stared in disbelief. 

“No, no. There’s no way” I said to him, he motioned for me to lay back, and I did I was told, letting him put the warm jelly on my stomach. Sure enough, in the grainy screen I saw the tiny blip that was a fetus. 

“Measuring at about 6 weeks...” Harvey stated happily. “Baby Daniels should be here around the end of fall!” I took a deep breath, counting back, and of course it falls around the time I was having the affair. I immediately started crying. 

“Or... if you don’t want this baby we can talk about other options...”

I took a deep breath “you don’t understand, Doc, I- I um, I had an affair, about that long ago,it was a mistake, Shane doesn’t know... I have no idea if this baby is his or not” 

Harvey nodded looking at me with sympathy in his eyes. 

“You have up until 12 weeks, if you decide to terminate” he added. I nodded gathering my ultrasound pictures and walked home. I called Marnie to see if she could take the girls- since I had something to discuss with Shane. When I got home, I could see Marnie walking away at the south end of the farm. I took a deep breath, before going inside. Holding the small white envelope with the evidence of my affair.

“Hey babe, happy birthday!” Shane exclaimed, holding out a beautiful bouquet of fairy roses, knowing right away our girls must have picked them out. I smiled softly. 

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I added grabbing a vase and filling it with water. After I put the flowers in the vase, I grabbed Shane’s hand and dragged him to the couch. 

“Baby, I love you so much” I started. The sound of my voice must have given away that I was nervous because he began to look worried. 

“I love you too, what’s wrong?” 

I took a deep breath and before I could get the words out, I was in tears. Sobbing. He reached for the envelope opening it. 

“You’re pregnant!? Tess, this is-“

“I don’t know if it’s yours...” I choked out, holding myself as I cried. “I’m so so sorry, Shane. I’m so sorry” I repeated over and over. He sat in silence. Looking at the photo. 

“Is it Sam?” I couldn’t even look at him. I just nodded between sobs. He was quiet, not saying anything 

“I can get an abortion. We can get rid of it, pretend this never happened.” I yelled, trying to crawl in his lap, he stood up as soon as I touched him. 

“If that’s my kid, you’re not getting rid of it.” He said. “‘If, you’re my fucking wife, I shouldn’t have to wonder if the baby you’re carrying is mine or not!” 

He was angry, rightfully so. I gulped, staring up at him from the couch as he paced. I took a deep breath, trying to stop myself from sobbing. 

“How many times?” I closed my eyes, and in a soft whisper, I muttered twice. 

“Fucking twice?! What the hell Tessa?” I couldn’t take the shouting but I knew I had no right to tell him to calm down. I gulped, looking up at him. He was looking to the ceiling covering his face with his hands. I could tell he was crying. 

“I thought you were different, Tessa. I don’t even know what to fucking think now. What about our fucking kids Tessa? The ones that are living and breathing now? You don’t think Jas and Willow have experienced enough heartbreak in their lives!?” 

“No, I know, I know... I’m so sorry” 

It’s true. Jas lost both of her parents, she still remembers them. She watched Shane spiral into a deep depression and dig himself out. She finally had stability and I potentially screwed that up for her. 

Willow had suffered at the hands of parents. Going without food or clean clothes so they could chase their next high. Again, she finally had stability and I threw that to the wind for a few regrettable moments of lust. 

Shane suddenly punched our living room wall, knocking a fist sized hole in our dry wall. “Get out. I can’t fucking look at you right now.” I stood up, walking towards him. 

“Shane, please, I-“ 

“Just stop, Tessa I need to think”

“Hon-“

“I asked you, YOU said I had nothing to worry about, YOU told me it was a silly crush, all the while he’s fucking you behind my back.” He was in my face. I closed my eyes. I just wanted him to hold me. 

“Nothing has happened since-“

“Since I told him to leave my wife alone? Good thing I did or you’d still probably be fucking him behind my back.” Every word out of his mouth was like a knife to my heart. “We took vows, Tessa. You treated them like nothing.”

I held myself, sobbing, apologizing over and over. He sat down on our sofa, and really started crying himself, at first into his hands, and then he pulled me into his lap and we cried together. 

He held my head against his chest, running his fingers through my curls. We didn’t say anything, I just felt better being in his arms, I cried myself to sleep in his lap. 

-

I’m not sure how long I slept for, but I woke up with a major headache covered in the scent of cedarwood and pine. 

Shane had wrapped his old ratty joja jacket around me. I slipped my arms into the jacket that was much too large for me. I looked around. Searching for any sign of my husband. He walked inside shortly after I stood up. I didn’t walk towards him, afraid to cross any boundaries. 

He looked off, something wasn’t right and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, until he held me in his arms and I could smell the booze on him. 

“Oh, Shane...” I muttered, squeezing him as tightly as I could. He lost his sobriety because of me


	8. The weight of regret

“Oh, Shane...” I muttered, squeezing him as tightly as I could. “You’re drunk”

He nodded, his arms wrapped around my neck. “I love you so much, babe. The thought, of him... and you... makes me fucking sick.” Shane started. I held him and listened to his drunken rambling. “I’m the only one who should be inside you, should know that part of you” he whispered in my ear. I could feel his heart rate quicken as we stood there. “I want this baby, Tess. I don’t care if it’s not mine or not” he fell to his knees, one arm around my waist and the other on my stomach. “Hey there little one, I’m your daddy, probably.” 

“Shane, honey, you need a meeting, have you called your sponsor?” I asked quietly. He rubbed my stomach. 

“We’re not telling Sam” he responded. I shook my head.

“Shane, baby, if we keep this pregnancy we have to tell him...” Shane ignored me, I pulled out my phone calling his sponsor. 

“Georgia, it’s Tessa. Shane’s drunk... thank you” I have a deep sigh running my hands through his purple locks. 

“Georgia is going to come take you to a meeting” I said softly he nodded. Stumbling over to the couch. 

“Tell Sam while I’m gone. Just don’t fuck him” Shane started. I climbed into his lap. Snuggling my head into the crook of his neck. 

“You are my only love, I’ll gladly make love to you when you get back and you’re sober though.” He kissed my forehead nodding in agreement. 

-

After Shane left with Georgia for Zuzu I shot a message to Sam. 

“Tessa: Sammy, I need you to come over.   
Sammy: is Shane there?   
Tessa: No.   
Sammy: On my way” 

I sat on the couch, staring at the little grainy blip on the photo paper, thinking back on those days where I slept with both Sam and Shane. And started wondering who this tiny person would be. 

My front door opened, and Sam walked over sitting beside me on the couch. 

“Did you miss me?” He asked, I just handed him the ultrasound. “What’s this?”

He looked at it, reading my name in the top corner and “6 weeks, 0 days” 

“You’re-? Is it mine?” He asked I pulled my legs up to my chest, shrugging slightly. 

“Shane is going to murder me...” he stated rubbing his brow. I shook my head.

“He knows everything... he, um, he got drunk, he went with his sponsor to a meeting” 

“Are you keeping it?” He asked softly, looking over the ultrasound. I nodded. 

“What’re we going to do if it is mine and not Shane’s?” He asked again. 

“Hadn’t thought that far... Shane didn’t want to tell you at all until I told him you needed to know... you don’t have to take any responsibility for this you’re free to-“

“Hell No, if that’s my kid I’m going to raise it, and I’d prefer to raise it with you” he stated. I nodded. 

“We can co-parent, work out a schedule, I suppose” I stated.

Sam shook his head. “No, Tess, I want to raise this baby with you, like we’re supposed to.”

I took a deep breath out of frustration. “I’m not leaving Shane. I won’t screw up our current children’s lives for this one, fact is I should have never fucked you-“

“We made love the first time” Sam chimed in, moving in closer to me. I got tense as those butterflies attacked my stomach again. 

“I love my husband. I love Shane. I love our family... I’m not ruining that for-“

Sam cut me off with a kiss, and just like before, I melted into his charming exterior. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. “We could be a family, Tess. Me, you, this baby-“

“It’s more complicated then that, I have willow, and Kira, and Jas...”

“Jas is Shane’s”

“That little girl is my daughter, Sam. Just like willow, cause technically she’s my brothers kid, and I physically birthed Kira. She’s 100% mine, Sammy. It’ll never be just me you, and this baby.” Sam sighed running his fingers through his blonde hair. “You should have never gotten involved with me, Sammy.” I added. I took a deep breath, standing up. 

“Hypothetically, if I left Shane; do you have any clue how complicated that would make our lives? I’d have to pay him child support, id only have Kira half the time, I’d also only have Jas and Willow half the time- maybe- that all depends on how we handle paperwork at the divorce, cause I suppose we could terminate our rights to the others child but I wouldn’t want to do that- I don’t want to leave my family Sam.” 

“Hypothetically, if I had gotten the courage to ask you out when you first moved here, would you have said yes?” He responded. I pondered for a moment, just to give him a hard time. 

“Yeah, I would have said yes.” He smiled, standing up and pulling me into a hug. 

“I’m so sorry Tessa” he spoke softly kissing the top of my head before leaving my farmhouse. I felt much more chill about the situation I was currently in. 

-

Sam walked into the witches hut, rasmodious had told him about the dark shrines that took offerings. He held the prismatic shards in his pocket, along with 30,000g- practically his entire savings. He took a deep breath as he paid the gold to one shrine, erasing everyone’s memory back to only the first year of Tessa’s time in the valley. A shaking took place after the offering had been given. He closed his eyes, the weight of what he had done settling in. He walked over to the shrine of selfishness, throwing in the prismatic shard and saying the name of the two kids he wished to turn to doves. 

Willow Trainor-Daniels  
Kira Daniels. 

A puff of smoke came out, followed by two doves flying out of the shrine. 

Sam took a deep breath and headed back to his home, even if Tessa didn’t end up with him, if that’s what fate had intended, at-least her life would be a little bit easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, friends, I know that’s not how the shrine really works, but for sake of the story, just roll along with it 🙂


	9. The funk

I woke up in my farmhouse, I had a bit of a headache but I figured maybe it was from throwing too many beers back at the dock with Shane the night before. I checked my calendar, Friday, which meant a beer with Shane, then pool with the band. 

I took a deep breath, looking around my large farmhouse. Had it always been this quiet? This lonely? Maybe I was having a quarter life crisis, I wasn’t really sure. But something seemed... off. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I shrugged off the weird feeling, making my way out onto the farm to care for my animals, all in all, the farm looked great. Gramps would be so proud of me and how far this farm had come. 

A few hours passed and I was about to make my way inside for lunch when Sam came strolling in from the east side of my farm. I waved shouting a loud “Hey!” He smiled, jogging the small way over to me. 

“Not used to you visiting the farm” I said, giving him a playful punch. He laughed nervously shrugging it off. 

“I was wondering, if maybe you’d like to go down to the beach with me tonight?”

I was a little taken back by his request. 

“I, um, I promised Shane I’d have a beer tonight with him at the bar...” Sams face dropped, and quickly recovered to his typical self. 

“So um, Shane? You’re into him or whatever?” I shrugged a bit.

“I mean, I think he’s hot if that’s what you’re asking” I searched his eyes for some sort of que, a tell that he may have literally just woken up today and decided to like me as more than just his friend. 

“I mean. It’s whatever, I just. I don’t really know what I was thinking, actually.” Sam started to walk away and I grabbed his arm, 

“We can go to the beach tomorrow night though, if you don’t have anything going on.” 

He turned quickly on his heel, beaming a smile at me. “Hell yeah, I’ll be here around 6? Don’t eat before I get here!” 

It was really cute how excited he was.

Then, unexpectedly, he leaned in and kissed me, it felt familiar and foreign all at once, the way his lips slid against mine and the way his tongue tasted like cinnamon. I melted into him, letting my arms wrap around his neck, tangling my fingers into his blonde hair. 

“See you tonight for pool then?” He asked resting his forehead against mine. I was probably smiling like some sort of idiot. I just nodded as he ran off, waving good bye. 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in, quickly running inside to call Abby while I ate my lunch. 

“... and he just kissed you?” Abigail sounded as confused as I felt. 

“Yeah, just full on made out with me in the middle of my chicken pasture.”

“And you said Sam did this? Like our lead guitarist, Samson Drury?” 

“Yes, Ab. Blonde hair, blue eyes, guitarist and vocals for the pelicans, Samson Drury, made out with me in my chicken pasture”

“Uh huh... but why?”

“That’s the thing, I have no idea. I was telling him about me having a beer with Shane tonight, he asked if I was into him and I was like, “I mean yeah, he’s hot” and the. He got all mopey for about 5 seconds and was all “i don’t know why I did this” then went to leave when I told him I’d go out with him tomorrow, I mean, Shane and I aren’t officially dating so it’s not really cheating... right?”

“The fact that you’re so into Shane really, is just still blowing my mind.” 

“Abbbbbby. This isn’t about my taste in men currently.”

I could hear her laughing “that’s exactly what this is about Tess, but no, it’s not cheating. Unless Shane or Sam gives you a bouquet you’re free to do what you want.” 

I laughed, looking at the fairy roses on my table. When did I get those? “Okay, I’m going to head back and tend to my crops. I’ll see you tonight”

“Bye Tess” 

-

I harvested a good amount for the second week of spring. It would definitely be nice to have that cash come the morning. I ran inside and showered, I wouldn’t to look casual cute, suddenly really feeling myself with these boys falling all over me. I settled on short jean shorts, and a size too large long sleeve graphic shirt that fell off of one shoulder, exposing some collarbone and bit of cleavage. I tossled my blonde curls a bit and threw on some make up. 

I’d do me. 

I headed south to the ranch, hoping to catch Shane on his walk to the bar, and it seems like I caught him in the nick of time. 

“Shane!” I yelled. He stopped and turned toward me. Giving me a small smile. 

“You should smile more, it makes you look more handsome.” I said, giving him a light shove. He didn’t respond in his normal way, no sarcastic comment or anything. I stopped grabbing his hand so he also would stop. 

He looked at me, strangely at first. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly “you can talk to me, I’m your friend”

Shane gave me a slight nod, not letting go of my hand as he began to talk. 

“I woke up this morning, just feeling off, like somethings wrong, or missing... or something. I’m not totally sure, and I know I’ve not ever had much of a groove but nothing I seem to do has helped me shake this funk”

I laughed “it’s so funny you say that, cause I kinda felt the same way, like, I’m going through a quarter life crisis or something. Shane cracked a smile, listening to me talk. “Like I found this vase of fairy roses on my table... and I have zero clue where they came from”

“Those are Jas’ favorite flower. Fairy roses.” Shane started.

“Huh... well maybe a beer will he’ll us work out this funk we both seem to be in.” I said, starting to walk, I considered letting Shane’s hand go, but he didn’t try to let go of mine either, so we walked hand in hand to our destination.


	10. Will you stay?

Shane and I sat at the corner of the bar, I could see my friends in the next room over. Shane simply waved at Emily and motioned for 2 beers. 

“And peppers!” I yelled as she turned to poured the beers. 

“You got it Tess!” She yelled back. Shane rolled his eyes eyes and shook his head. 

“They’re my favorite you know.” I said sully leaning over to Shane. 

“I thought the date was just beer?” He asked. I shrugged, leaning in close to his ear. 

“Dates on me then” his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and all of these moments seemed like a weird form of deja vu, giving me a strange sense of confidence. I could feel Sams eyes on me from the other room, even though I tried to ignore him. 

Our drinks and peppers came out and Shane I chit chatted. About his egg farming adventure, mainly. 

“You should totally come help out on my farm, and it would be awesome to have the help, plus you’d make a hot farmhand”

“I’ve think you’ve had too many beers” Shane responded. I shook my head, holding up five fingers. 

“I’ve only had 3!” He let out a small chuckle. 

“You’re done, I’m going to walk you home.”

“Only if you promise to come work with me! I’m being so serious Shaaaaaane” I was pretty intoxicated, and honestly, I was a lightweight. 

“Come on” he left money for the bill and wrapped his arm around my waist to guide me out the door. 

I was probably the sight to see, stumbling and giggling, hanging all over Shane. 

He walked me up my front porch steps. “Come inside.” I asked softly, tugging on his hand. He was still sober enough to know that wasn’t a solid idea. “Please, Shane?” He let out a sigh, giving in to my begging. 

He walked in, not prepared for what I had planned in the least. I always got so horny when I was drunk, and I hadn’t slept with someone in over a year. 

I pushed Shane against my closed front door, my lips meeting his, barely. At first he kissed me back, passionately and lustfully, until he noticed his hands starting to wonder. 

“I’m not doing this with you while your drunk” he stated firmly. “You’ll just regret it in the morning” 

I shook my head, grabbing the sides of his ratty old Joja jacket pulling him. 

“You’re hot as fuck, and I’m so horny, please?” 

Shane ran his hand back through his purple hair, looking at the ceiling weighing the pros and cons of engaging in such a lustful act with me being as drunk as I was. I let out a deep sigh, kissing him on the cheek. 

“We don’t have to have sex, but will you stay?” I asked softly. “It’s lonely on this house, and I don’t think I can stand another night alone”

Shane smiled softly at me, rolling his eyes. “I always liked living by myself. It’s different having a kid now, I have to watch what I say and do, how I act, she picks up on everything” I started dragging him towards my bedroom as he talked. 

“I want kids, eventually, you know when I find the right guy, ya know?” He nodded as I crawled into my bed, patting the spot beside me and turning on the tv, flipping through channels. 

Shane got in beside me as I pulled up a blanket, putting his arm around me. I laid my head in his chest stopping at an old tunnelers game. 

“You can turn on whatever you’d like to watch” Shane added, I shook my head. 

“I played on a women’s gridball league back in Zuzu, it was rec league; but I loved it.”

Shane chuckled, absentmindedly running his fingers up and down my arm. “You really are a woman after my own heart” I patted his chest, and looked up at him. 

“If you ever need help with Jas, you know, like with girl stuff or whatever, I’d be happy to help, I mean I know she has Marnie, but-“

Shane nodded. “She’s 9, so I have a few years before we get into periods and stuff-“

“I was 11, every girl is different” I added, a look of horror crossed his face. 

“Shit. I am not ready for that” I laughed and snuggled in, eyes on the TV 

“She’s lucky she has you. Every kid needs someone like that. My brother- he’s addicted to drugs, coke mainly, my parents just coddle him so much, like I’m legit terrified if he ever has a kid, I’d probably end up caring for her” 

“Her? You’ve gendered you’re brothers unborn child?” Shane asked with a chuckle. 

I shrugged. “I’m not sure, just a weird feeling that falls back to that whole quarter life crisis I was telling you about”

Shane made a face, nodding. “I feel like I should be farther in life, married, more kids. Jas would be a great big sister- I feel like my drinking has gotten in the way of that...” 

I squeezed him. “If you ever want help, quitting drinking...”

He squeezed my arm. “I appreciate that” 

-

The next morning I woke up to a cold bed. I quickly sat up looking for Shane, finding a note on my bedside table. 

“Promised Jas id spend the day with her- I’ll call you later. Xx” 

I smiled softly at the note, folding it putting in my bedside drawer. I picked up my phone and saw I had a few texts from Sam. 

“Sammy: saw you leave with Shane...  
Everything good?  
We still on for tonight? “

He sounded... jealous. It was strange. I smiled a bit, typing out a response 

“Tessa: you jealous, Sammy? ;) I got a little too drunk, Shane brought me home. Nothing happened”

“Despite my best efforts” I thought out loud, walking into the kitchen. I turned on my coffee pot, walking to fridge grabbing ingredients for an omelette. My phone buzzed. 

“Sammy: not jealous, just worried.”

I smiled at my phone, then invited him over for breakfast. 

He simply responded with a man running with a puff of smoke behind him. 

As I pulled off the omelettes, and plated them, Sammy came inside 

“Good morning, beautiful!” I gave him a smile, but a strange stare. 

“You’re so funny.” I stated 

“It’s true, even having rolled out of bed, you’re the prettiest girl in town.” I felt my cheeks turning red and sat down across from him. 

“What’s gotten into you, Sammy?” I asked, cutting a piece of my breakfast with my fork. 

“Uhm... I just...” he was searching for words, I watched as he fiddled with his fork. “I just didn’t want to miss my chance with you, I guess” 

I blinked at him, waiting for more of an explanation. 

“You’re beautiful, and smart, and you’re an amazing mother-“

“What?” I asked suddenly confused. 

“I, uh, I mean you’re going to make an amazing mother” 

I was still so confused, my face definitely showed it. 

“I mean- yoba, I’m royally screwing this up” he spoke under his breath, I giggled a bit, reaching across and holding his hand, he looked up, his blue eyes looking hopeful. 

“I’m going to be a bomb ass mom one day, just like I’m sure you’ll be an amazing dad” I added, trying to make him feel better about whatever it was he was talking about. 

Sam pushed his chair out, walking the few steps over to me and kissed me softly.


	11. Dating

“I’m going to be a bomb ass mom one day, just like I’m sure you’ll be an amazing dad” I added, trying to make him feel better about whatever it was he was talking about. 

Sam pushed his chair out, walking the few steps over to me and kissed me softly. 

-

Sam wasn’t totally sure if the shrine of selfishness took care of the pregnancy as well or not. She hadn’t mentioned anything about a pregnancy but it did only have two doves fly out of it...

Just in case, he figured he’d better sleep with her sooner rather than later. He felt Tessa’s hands wrap around his neck, and he pulled her up, standing in the middle of her dining room. 

-

Standing there in the middle of my kitchen, kissing Sam the way were, got me worked up. I pushed him back on to my couch, straddling him and kissing his neck. He started moaning as I found the more sensitive spots. His hands wandered my body, one of his hands squeezing my ass, causing me to moan myself. I could feel his cock getting harder beneath me as I rubbed myself against him. 

-

Sam watched Tessa breathe, as he laid on the couch skin to skin with her. She had fallen to sleep after their activities, and he ran her fingers through her hair. Her phone started buzzing just within his reach. 

“Shane” with an emoji with heart eyes was on her screen, and Sam felt that familiar twang of jealousy that he felt every time he saw them together, answering her phone for her. 

“Hello?” 

“Who- Sam?” Shanes voice sounded confused 

“Yeah. Tess fell asleep, what’s up man?” Sam had a smile of victory plastered on his face, that he hoped was coming through in his voice. 

“I, uh, just have her call me when she wakes up, I guess...” both men were silent for a moment “why are you there anyways? Band practice?” 

Sam let himself laugh a bit into the phone. “Nah man, we had a date today. Didn’t end up making it out, if you know what I mean” 

Shane didn’t respond, not right away at least. 

“Just, have her call me” and he hung up. 

“Who was that?” Tessa’s voice rang softly, glancing up at him, the look of realization her phone was in sams hand crossed sams mind as a look of anger that he hadn’t seen From her before

-

“Did you answer my phone?” I asked, snatching my phone out of his hand “So not cool, man” 

Sam didn’t respond. Knowing well enough that nothing he said would make her less upset. 

“Get dressed and leave, I’ll see you at practice” I said, pretty peeved at sam for invading my privacy. 

I exited to my bedroom and shut the door, calling Shane back. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, sorry about Sam, him answering my phone was not cool”

Shane didn’t respond right away

“So you’re dating? Sam?” His voice sounded sad, almost. 

“Dating is a bit strong. We were supposed to have a singular date tonight but that didn’t happen. I invited him over for breakfast and then..” I suddenly found myself embarrassed about my lustful actions, not wanting to turn Shane away from any possible 

“And then you fucked?” His tone dropped with jealousy. 

“... yeah. But in all fairness I tried to sleep with you yesterday!” 

Yup. Good argument, Tessa. Smooth. 

“That just made me sound like a slut- I- not that there’s anything wrong with being - I” 

Shane started laughing, like real, full on laughing. The sound made butterflies flutter around her stomach. 

“You’re cute when you’re flustered” My face turned red, suddenly thankful he couldn’t see me over the phone. “You aren’t my girlfriend, I have no right to judge who you sleep with” he added 

“I mean, same though, I see the way you look at Emily when we’re at the bar”

Shane let our an exasperated breath “I think you see me looking at the beer.” 

I giggled. “Well, I suddenly don’t have plans for tonight, wanna do something?” 

“I, uh, I’d like to but I’m spending the day with Jas, and-“ 

“No, it’s alright. She comes first, I totally get it.” 

“Would you want to join us? I’m taking her to the beach later. She wants to build some sand castles and she likes playing in the waves on the shore.”

I smiled, “yeah, I’d like that” 

-

Four o’clock and a small rapping came at my front door. I slung my bag over my shoulder opening my door to see Shane and Jas standing there. 

“Hi there Miss. Tessa! Uncle Shane said you wanted to come to the beach with us! I’m so excited!” Jas hugged my waist, and the feeling of her little arms felt familiar I ran my fingers through one of her ponytails, she smiled up at me and took off running ahead. 

“She’s excited.” I added as Shane and I followed closely behind her. 

“She likes you, a lot” Shane responded, interlocking his fingers with mine. It was comforting and gave me an overwhelming sense of peace. 

As we got closer to the beach, I could hear the waves crashing onto the shore, rolling me with a strange sense of nausea started settling in my chest, but I pushed the idea aside thinking my breakfast just hadn’t settled well. 

We found a spot, and I laid out a couple of beach blankets, giving Jas a place to lay the clothes she had worn over top of her bathing suit down, almost immediately stripping and running to stomp in the shore line. 

My heart swelled watching her enjoy the waves with that childlike magic that lived in her. 

“I can’t wait to have kids.” I said suddenly, feeling an unknown ache in my heart. Maybe my biological clock was ticking. Maybe it was the quarter life crisis. I totally wasn’t sure. 

Shane looked at me, but I kept watching Jas.

“Can I- um, can I tell you something without totally freaking you out?” Shane asked, leaning back on his hands as he squished sand between his toes. I looked at him and shrugged. 

“Most likely. But no promises!” I added that last part with a joking giggle. Getting one of those rare Shane smiles out of him. 

“I had this dream last night, we uh,” he choked on his words, a reddish tint coming to his cheeks and ears. I waited intently for him to continue since he did stay with me last night. “We were married, had a few kids, Jas and two other little girls. But one of them was your brothers-“

“Your brain probably formed that because of what I told you yesterday” I interrupted. He shook his head to the side. Remembering the discussion on my brothers unborn child I would hypothetically have custody of if it ever happened. 

“Yeah, probably, but we had one of our own too, another little girl. God, she had your hair curly but it was my color, and she had your gorgeous green eyes.” He smiled fondly on the memory of his dream. “And my nose” he added with a small chuckle. “I don’t know. It just made me realize how bad I want to get myself straight. I called a counselor this morning in Zuzu, I have an appointment set up for next week. I reached over, placing a hand over his. 

“That’s awesome, Shane. I’m proud of you.” He nodded, giving me a soft smile. I smirked playfully “so you dream about me having your babies, huh?”

Shane rolled his eyes running his hand through his soft purple hair. “Apparently so.”


	12. Wait

The weeks falling into the summer season came quickly. Sam and I were back on speaking terms but for the most part I kept us at a friendly distance despite his best efforts. 

Shane and I on the other hand had gotten a bit closer. He stayed the night a couple times a week, although we still hadn’t moved into anything more intimate than making out and cuddling. 

I still had a loneliness settled in me that I still couldn’t quite place or understand, and I too had began dreaming of the girls Shane mentioned weeks ago at the beach. 

This particular morning however I was sick as a dog. I couldn’t hold anything down, I called Shane to take care of the farm, and informed him I was going to see Harvey. 

I sat in his office curtain drawn as he went over my blood work searching for signs of infection. 

“Tessa, when was your last menstrual cycle?” He asked with a bit of concern in his voice. 

“Oh, gosh doc, I don’t know. I’ve never had regular cycles, I don’t keep up with it” I was honest with, really thinking back to the last time I had to deal with Mother Nature, coming up short handed. 

“And are you sexually active?” I blinked at him. 

“I mean, not at this exact period of time, the last time I had sex was in the beginning of spring.” 

Harvey places a hand on my shoulder, gently saying my name. “You’re pregnant”

I stared at his mustache, questioning his style choice while his words sank in. 

“Did you hear me?” He asked softly

I looked him in the eyes, nodding. My thoughts processing how one time could entirely change my life. 

“I’m going to grab the ultrasound machine, just to make sure everything looks okay.” I nodded again, internally freaking out. 

I had no intentions on having a kid with Sam, not when those dreams of having Shane’s babies filled my head during the night. 

I took a deep breath as I laid back. The jelly cool on my stomach as he moved around the wand. 

Swoosh  
Swoosh

And the. There it was, the undeniable sound of a heartbeat, followed by the outline of a tiny human. 

“Holy Yoba...” I stated softly, “I didn’t expect it to look like a full on human this soon” I stated. 

“Are you sure that was the only time you had intercourse? This baby is measuring as you being due in the middle to end of fall” Harvey said, clicking on the computer. 

“Not unless I was drunk, Harvey. And I don’t get black out drunk. It has to be sams, he was the only one I’ve had sex with.” I stated. Just as confused as the town doctor. He printed the photos and placed them in an envelope for me, wishing the best of luck. 

I wasn’t quite sure what to do first, tell Shane, or go yell at Sam. 

I decided quickly on the former making my way back to the farmhouse. 

When I got there, Shane was inside my kitchen drinking some water, and scrolling through social media on his phone. 

“Hey, what did Dr. Harvey say?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, so I just handed him the envelope. 

He looked confused, opening the flap to see the ultrasound photos. 

“Wait, are you? Is it? Wait.” He couldn’t even finish a sentence. 

“Yup. I’m pregnant.” My face was deadpanned. 

Shane wasn’t sure how to respond. He searched my face for any possible clue on an appropriate reaction. 

“I have to tell Sam. I am not thrilled, but...” my sentence wandered off as I processed my thoughts. Shane started rubbing my back as I laid my head down in my arms. 

“It’ll be alright. You’re awesome with Jas, you’re going to be a great Mom” he spoke quietly, a hint of sadness leaving his voice. 

I let out breath I’d been holding in, looking up at Shane, my eyes starting to well up with tears. Shane quickly scooped me up in his arms and I lost it. I had so many emotions flowing through me and the weight of the situation caused me to drag us both to my kitchen floor. 

He sat there and held me for I don’t know how long while I cried. When I finally calmed down, my breath was steady, I gently kissed Shane, thanking him for sitting with me, but that I was ready to go face Sam. 

“Do you want me to go with you?” He asked softly. I shook my head. 

“Sam is an idiot, but he will probably be thrilled.” I closed my eyes praying that that was the truth at least. 

Shane kisses my forehead, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “Call me later, okay? Let me know how it goes.” I took a deep breath as we walked opposite directions leaving the farm.


	13. The dinner

I found Sam flipping his skateboard outside his house, Sebastian stood near smoking a cigarette. I took a deep breath, as I approached. Seb nodded and let out a small “hey” allowing Sam to recognize my presence. 

“Sammy, can we talk?” All anger of wanting to yell left me, seeing his sweet smile.

“Yeah, what’s up buttercup?” I smiled softly at him, glancing over to Sebastian who just stared at me. 

“I think she wants to talk to you alone, dumbass.” Sebastian spoke, putting out his cigarette butt on the tree, before throwing it in the trash and walking away. 

“He’s great, man” Sam said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes, walking over to the riverbank and sitting down, patting the ground beside me. 

He sat down, close enough that I could lean in, but far enough to be considered a “friendly” distance. 

I started off slowly, kicking my now bare feet into the water, watching the ripples as my feet moved in the water. 

“So... um, remember that morning awhile back, when we slept together?” I asked. I couldn’t bare to look at him so I watched my red toenails wiggle in the water. 

“How could I forget” I could hear the smile in his voice as he dipped his feet in with me. 

“Sammy, I’m pregnant.” 

There was silence, I turned my head to find that he had a huge smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling as much as the water that our feet dangled in. 

“Tess! That’s, my Yoba, this is great! I was so worried!” He embraces me in a hug, and I was suddenly curious as to why he would have been worried, asking him aloud. 

“I- um. I was uh... worried... that, You we’re going to tell me something awful. I don’t know” 

He was a bad liar. But I let it go, given the news I just dropped on him. I handed him the the ultrasound photos I had in my back pocket, and he held them gently, carefully running his finger over the outline of the baby. 

“Your sure it’s mine?” He asked softly, the smile never leaving his lips. It made my heart flutter watching him quietly fawn over the pictures in his hand. 

“Shane and I- we never.... yeah. It’s yours” I took a deep breath, looking up at the sky, the nausea suddenly hitting me again, as I puked into the river. Sam grabbed my hair and held it back the moment I started puking. 

“He has not been nice today” I said softly rubbing my stomach after the puke-capade subsided. 

Sam gave a small laugh, “he?”

“Yeah, I don’t know that for sure, just a feeling” I Reassured. “But that’s not all I wanted to discuss...”

Sam looked at me, and reached over holding my hand. 

“I’m not going to raise a baby in a broken home, not without trying, so um, would you want to give ‘us’ a try?”

Sam didn’t respond with words, he simply grabbed my face and kissed me gently. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. “I have wanted nothing more in my entire life” he whispered just for me to hear. 

He moved his hand to my stomach. “Hey there, little guy. I’m your Dad...” he spoke softly and gently. I watched his face as he talked, filled with love and peace in the situation. 

“I’m going to call my folks and invite them in and tell them the news over dinner, would you and your family like to join us? We can tell them all together” I asked softly 

“Your parents? I didn’t think you were on speaking terms since you took Willow?”

“Who is Willow?” I asked, that name striking ache into my heart for some reason, I couldn’t place why though. Sams face froze for a moment. 

“Um, I don’t know. Maybe I dreamed that... hit yeah, we can do that, dinner sounds great” 

I looked at him suspiciously, curious as to all the weird things he had been saying and doing, but this was Samson we were talking about. 

“So,” he started “just to be clear, you are my girlfriend now, right?”

I made a silly face, nodding my head back and forth before smiling “yeeeeeeeeah. I guess so” he stood up quickly spinning me around and and stopping to kiss me. 

This wasn’t what I planned but life has a funny way of working sometimes. 

“I don’t mean to just abruptly leave you after this, but I need to go tell Shane what’s going on- I mean, we weren’t officially dating or anything but-“ Sam nodded in understanding what I was saying, it was the same thing he was going through with Penny. I kissed him softly before walking towards the ranch. 

-

“Oh Miss. Tessa! UNCLE SHAAAAAANE” Jas had answered the door when I knocked, running to go grab her uncle he appeared almost as soon as she shouted. 

“Kid, you don’t have to- Tessa?”

“Can we talk?” I asked softly, my heart was in my throat over the conversation I was about to have with him. 

He nodded, telling Jas that we would be in his room if she needed anything. He grabbed my hand as he brought me in, closing the door behind him. 

“Sorry, it’s so messy...” he started. 

I shook my head “I’m not worried about the state of your room, Shane.” 

He sat beside me on his bed, still holding my hand. “How uh, how’d things go with Sam?” I took a deep, and slowly let it out before speaking. 

“He’s thrilled. Like really, REALLY happy... um, we are going to um, I seriously don’t know how to tell you this...” I felt the tears falling from eyes. I didn’t want to break Shane heart. We had grown so close over the past few seasons, he was finally getting sober, we were in a good place. “Were going to try being in a relationship, this baby deserves two parents who gave it there best shot at a normal family” 

“I get it, Tess, we um, weren’t even dating so it’s cool” his whole demeanor changed. His voice became cold and he let go of my hand. “If that’s all you wanted you can go, I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t want you in another mans bedroom alone” 

His words stung. But I understood his hurt. I looked back one last time before leaving. He wiped a tear away quickly, in hopes I wouldn’t notice. 

-

my parents had agreed to come in to town in the morning, Sunday, for a visit. But as our small group worked, Abigail and Sebastian knew right away about our expectancy. 

But given the nature of Saturday night, we had started a game of solorian chronicles with our band mates 

“Roll for perception” Sebastian spoke with authority as our dungeon master. 

“10”

“Abby, you notice that there’s a green glare back in the cave, it’s damp and cool but as you move closer in it seems to get warmer”

“Nat 20”

“Tess, you recalled reading an ancient manuscript about the tales of the ancient dragons that made their nests in these caves. You notice all the markings on the walls confirming your suspicions”

“1 + 2 bonus” Sam whined. 

“You’re not even sure if you’re in a cave” 

I laughed at Sams disappointment. He looked so pitiful. 

“Okay, but that’s really how this would go in real life” Abigail laughed. I nodded agreeing. 

“So I was thinking maybe one day this week we can all go into Zuzu and go shopping? I need to pick some things up for the baby and I thought we could all make a day of it” I spoke off topic. Abigail happily agreed while the boys just shrugged. 

“Y’all are telling your parents tomorrow?” Sebastian stated, jotting down some notes as we made our turns through the dungeon. 

“Yeah, I’m kind of nervous to tell them, honestly. Mom still thinks I’m 17” 

“She’s not far off, you’re only 20” I added. He gave me a look like he couldn’t believe I just said that. 

“Okay, Ms. 23” he said, giving me a slight nudge. 

“I left home at 17, my parents haven’t had a say in what I do since.” I moved my mini figure up a few spaces. “I just want them to know they’re going to be grandparents. They’re going to be so excited. My mom always talks about having grandkids. Better from me than my useless brother, but this kids going to be so loved, they’re not going to know what to do” I said warmly, rubbing my stomach that had began to pooch, knowing now I was pregnant and not just gaining weight made a lot of strange things click in my brain. 

“When do we find out what we’re having?” Abigail asked knocking over an opposing mini. 

“When he’s born. But I’m pretty sure he’s a boy. I just got a feeling.” I spoke like I had done this before. 

“Have y’all discussed names?” Sebastian asked 

“I like Axel” Sam spoke, moving his mini behind a bush. 

“We aren’t naming our child after a part on your skateboard” I gave him a look like he had lost his mind. “I like Elijah, it’s my dads and brothers name. It was also my grandfather’s and great grandfathers name” I added 

“Heh, Elijah Kenneth Drury” Sam spoke out-loud “that’s a strong name, albeit not as cool as Axel” 

I rolled my eyes at the last part of his statement. “Kenneth after your dad?” 

Sam nodded “if were going to do the dad thing might as do it.” 

“Okay, but there is a chance this could be a girl” Abigail chimed. 

“I honestly have no idea what I’d name a girl” I spoke softly, imagining what the tiny human inside me would look like when they got here. 

“Charlotte Wren” Sam said confidently. 

“I actually like that a lot” I spoke proudly of the normal suggestion coming out of my boyfriends mouth. 

“Charlotte is a great name” Sebastian stated taking the rest of us back a bit, he normally didn’t have many cares in manners such as this. “Good Charlotte.” 

Of course, a band name. 

I giggled, smacking Abbys arm lightly. “Good luck when y’all have kids” Sebastian practically choked on his drink then immediately looked Abigail. 

“No.” 

-

“I’m so excited to meet your parents, honey! Thank you so much for having us over” Jodi spoke politely and I nodded. “They’re excited to meet you guys too, they should be here soon, probably got caught up in traffic.” I added placing the salad on the table. 

“I’m. So. Boreeeeeeed” Vincent yelled from the couch. He was laying upside down with his head to the floor. 

“Vincent!” Jodi shouted, I shook my head at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“He’s fine, really... hey, Vince!” I called over to him. “Come here, I think I have some old toys of mine upstairs. I mean they’re nothing cool like you have, but they might keep you entertained until dinner.” I reached my hand out for him to take and walked him upstairs, Sam staying downstairs with his parents. 

“This used to be my bedroom when I’d come and stay with my grandpa.” I told Vincent, switching on the light. The old crib and two beds lit up. Along with the old toy box in the corner. “That bookshelf has tons of puzzles on it. My brother and I used to do them all the time. Grandpa would get us a new one every time we care to visit” I stated. Vincent smiled thanking me and went to look at them. “I’ll call you down when suppers done, okay?” He gave me a thumbs up a big smile. When I hit the bottom step, Sam wrapped his arm around my waist kissing my forehead. I smiled at him, looking to Kent on the couch. He sat straight and tall, like a soldier, looking at the photos on my wall. 

“You can turn something on if you’d like” I added. Handing him the remote. He nodded in thanks. 

“So, Tessa, what do your parents do for a living?” Jodi asked politely. I looked out the window and saw their car driving slowly down the road. 

“Dads an Actuary. Mom stayed at home with my brother and I.” I stated blandly. Opening the front door. My mom had already raced out of the car to hug me. 

“Oh, honey! I’m so glad you invited us to visit. The farm looks great.” She added smiling. I heard two more car doors shut, seeing my older brother get out of the back. He wasn’t part of the deal. 

“What are you doing here, Ej?” I asked firmly. 

“Mom said family dinner was at your place, that we were meeting your boyfriend” his voice was soft, the veins in his arms blown. 

“He’s fresh out of rehab, he’s good” my dad whispered as we walked inside my home. 

“This is Sam, my boyfriend” I started “his mother, Jodi, and his father, Kent. These are my parents, Bob and Darlene, and my older brother Ej. Sams little brother Vincent is upstairs playing” I added. My dad shook Kent’s hand first and then Sams. 

“Good looking boy you got there” Kent nodded Dad pleasantries were weird. 

“Sammy, honey, can you go get Vincent? I’m about to pull the lasagna out” I asked nicely putting on my oven mitts, I pulled out the glass bakeware and sat it in the middle of the table alongside the salad and basket full of garlic bread. 

“I’m so hungry!” Vincent yelled sitting down eagerly at the table. He looked around for a moment, like he was searching for something. “Where’s your brother?”

“That’s me, little man” Ej spoke up, tousling Vincent’s hair, sitting beside him. I felt a strong defensive urge to say something but let it go for my parents sake. 

“You’re not my age...” he stated dossapointedly. I giggled a bit. 

“When I told you I had a brother did you think he was little like you?” I asked, Vincent made a funny face and shrugged. “Ej is my older brother. But we’re a lot closer in age than you and Sam” I added. “There’s only 4 years difference” 

Vincent nodded to this information, taking it in before grabbing a piece of bread, immediately getting his hand smacked by Jodi. 

“Vincent, mind your manners young man.”

“He’s fine Jodi, really. Ej and I always ate like we were starving. I think it’s something about this house.” I stated dipping out some lasagna and salad onto Vincent’s plate as well. 

“Should we say grace?” My mom clapped her hands as everyone sat around the table. 

“Yes! That would be so nice!” Jodi responded motioning for everyone to hold hands. 

Our moms seemed to be two peas in a weird chipper mom pod. 

“Samson, if you would.” 

Sam and I exchanged glances. His eyes asking if he should throw our news into the grace. I shrugged as to tell him I didn’t care since we didn’t actually discuss when or how we would tell them other than over dinner. 

Sam cleared his throat. 

“Yoba, we thank you for bringing our families together this evening to join over this meal you’ve provided for nourishment. We thank you for our many blessings in life, including the healthy baby you’ve blessed Tessa and I with... in Yoba’s name, Amen”

Our parents didn’t seem to catch on right away, but Ej did, giving me a weird glance across the table. 

Everyone started dipping out the plates while Sam and I exchanged glances. Waiting to see who would be the first to speak about it. And almost as if on que, our mothers both went wide eyed 

“Baby!?”

My mother had a look of pure joy on her face. Jodi on the other hand had a look of pure horror. 

“Yeah, I’m due sometime near the end of next season.” I added. My mother jumped up to hug me, squealing with joy, my dad joining in on the hug. I watched my brother lean over to Vincent and whisper something to him. I put the thoughts of negativities aside. Our moment interrupted by Kent. 

“Boy, how the HELL are you going to take care of an infant!?” 

“Dad-“ 

“Samson, how do you even know it’s yours? She was sleeping with Marnies nephew not long ago, it could be his” Jodi chimed 

“Mom, it’s no-“ 

“Now hold on one minute, are you accusing my daughter of TRAPPING your son?” My mom was on the defensive. I quickly grabbed Vincent’s hand and took him outside, leaving poor Sam to play mediator between our parents. 

“Tessssssa I wanted to watch them fight” 

“I know buddy, but you’re going to go play with Jas for a bit.” I said pulling out my phone calling Shane. 

At first I didn’t think he would answer, but he did right before it went to voicemail. 

“Tess? You okay?”

“Yeah, I um, I need a favor, I had mine and sams families over for dinner to tell them the news, and it is NOT going well. Can you please watch Vincent for a bit, I know I’m not in any-“

“Meet me at the end of your farm, I’ll take him.”

“Thank you, thank you so much” 

He let out a grunt before hanging up. 

Just a few minutes later Jas came running up to Vincent, Shane and I just exchanging small waves before headed our opposite ways. 

I took a deep breath before I re entered the house. 

Ej was no where to be seen, Sam was sitting at the table quietly eating his lasagna, his mom was crying Kent and my dad were yelling and my mom had started washing dishes for some reason. I had honestly quite frankly had time to stew on the things said before I took Vincent to Shane. 

So me, being the spunky 5’3” spitfire I am, walked eighth between the two large men and yelled. 

“QUIET.” 

It apparently shocked everyone cause my mom broke a dish and I heard something crash in my bedroom, lovely. 

“You.” I started with my mother “thank you for weirdly doing my dishes, please go get Ej out of my bedroom.”

I then pointed to my dad “you, go sit. Quit yelling at Kent, frankly daddy, he’d probably kick your ass” my dad put his hands up in defeat as I started in on Sams parents. 

I about faced to face Kent. “First of all, I know you’re pretty traditional and all, but Sam doesn’t need to take care of me or an infant, frankly I do pretty damn well for myself here if you couldn’t tell, as long as he’s present through my pregnancy and the babies life that’s all I give a damn about, and if you did your job right as a father, you shouldn’t have any concerns.” Kent went to respond to me, but I put my hand up to him walking over to Jodi. 

“And I can’t even believe you. First of all, Sam and I had a one night stand and that’s when I got pregnant, Shane and I never slept together despite whatever gossip you heard around town. So if you and your husband could just be freaking happy for your son, that’d be great, cause he isn’t a little kid anymore if you hadn’t noticed. He’s a grown man and perfectly capable of raising a ba- agh!” 

I grabbed my stomach as a strong pain shot across it. I had never seen Sam move so fast away from a plate of food. 

“Hey, sit down, take it easy.” He spoke softly, quickly grabbing my water, telling me to sip on it. He started rubbing on my stomach, talking to the baby. 

“It’s alright, mommy got a little worked up, you’re okay.” The pain subsided shortly after I started drinking the water. “It was probably a Braxton Hicks, I uh, read about it in one of those parenting books” Sam said speaking softly to me. I smiled at him. He was really the sweetest guy. 

He stood up quietly “I think everyone needs to leave now, Mr. and Mrs. Trainor, it was nice to met y’all. Mom, dad, I’m not coming home tonight”

“Shane has Vincent” I added as everyone was leaving, my brother being dragged out by his ear, I assumed it had something to do with whatever was broken in my bedroom. 

“Thank you, Sammy.” I said softly, getting up to hug him

“You and this baby are my top priority now.” He kissed my forehead, rubbing my stomach once more. Maybe all this would be more okay than I thought.


	14. We’re gonna have the best life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people! Sorry it’s been a few days since I last updated, I got hit with the stomach flu HARD, and now my real life husband is down with it 🙃 
> 
> Enjoy the next chapter! 💖

“Keep on climbing, though the ground might shake... mmm mmm mmm we’ve come this far don’t you be scared now, cause you can learn to fly-y-y-y on the waaaaay down”

I sang to myself as I sat in my field picking my last batch of hot peppers of the season. It was a new song I was working on, about figuring out life, given the state mine was currently going through. My dog, Ace, sat steadily by my side as I would scoot home from plant to plant after picking the peppers off. 

The summer sun was beating down, and lugging around this ever growing belly wasn’t making my farm work any easier. Especially when my boyfriend had work to do at the library. He insisted on making his own money to care for the baby and I, even though I tried to explain he’d be more helpful on the farm. He still saw that as “My” money. 

“Here Ace, last basket. Think we should take these to our neighbors?” 

The shepherd mutt let out a gruff bark, picking the basket up by its handle, letting me use him to pick myself up off the ground. 

We headed south of the farm, I needed to pick up some feed for my silo’s too, as I just didn’t have the energy anymore to harvest it myself. I didn’t have the energy for most of my farm work anymore, and honestly, there was another motive for taking my famous hot peppers to the neighbors. 

The sound of the ranch bell was all too familiar, even though I didn’t notice Marnie right away behind the counter. 

“Marnie?” I asked loudly peeking into the kitchen, 

“She’s our shopping”

Shane. 

“That’s okay, I actually wanted to talk to you too, if that’s okay?” I asked timidly. We hadn’t spoke much since I found out about the pregnancy. 

Shane pulled a pizza out of the microwave, nodding towards he table, for me to sit down. I had Ace place the basket on the table and he then laid obiently by my feet. 

“What’s up?” He asked, taking a bite of his pizza. 

“So, How’ve you been? We haven’t-“

“You didn’t come here to check on me, Trainer. What do you want?” 

I sure as hell didn’t miss this coldness. I thought we got passed this, but I suppose this whole pregnancy and not-break up, break up, put us back to square one. 

“I need help on the farm with the baby coming, and-“

“What about your baby daddy?” His voice was hard and cold. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

“Look, I’ll pay you, I don’t know if you need the extra money, but-“

“Okay”

“I’ll pay you good. It’s getting harder on me to harvest my crops and muck stalls-“

“I’ll do it.”

“There’s a few fence posts that need fixing, Ace is a great help too, he-“

“Tessa.”

“Shane, would you stop, I’m trying to convince you to help me!” I whined, due to his constant interruptions. 

“You don’t have to convince me. If you need me, I’ll be there. Always.” Shane let out a deep sigh and a soft sideways smile. I reached across to hold Shane’s hand, and surprisingly he let me. He didn’t flinch or pull away, and I felt that unmistakable heart flutter I’d felt so many times before in this situation. 

“Come over in the morning and we will discuss details okay? Thank you so much” I stood up, pecking Shane on the cheek before I left, looking back once more to see his hand on his cheek, still warm from my lips, and smiling at his pizza. 

-

The next morning I found myself getting ready putting on a bit of makeup, and my typical summer short overalls that fit tightly around my belly these days. 

“Morning, Ace.” I heard Shane’s voice over the gruff bark of my dog. “Tess? I’m here” 

I popped around the corner of my bedroom door. My blonde curls bouncing ever which way. They were untamable, I swear. 

“Hey, you hungry? I made biscuits and gravy” I stated, dipping him out a plate. 

“Yeah, sure, thanks” 

Breakfast went well, discussing pay and hours, and catching up since we had barely spoken the entire season. I’d missed these breakfasts that normally occurred after he spent the night. 

“Tessa, I really miss you” Shane held my hand across the table, his eyes laying on mine softly. I smiled softly as he continued “I just really wish that baby was mine...” he spoke in almost a whisper. 

“Yoooo, baby mama!” Sam busted through the door and I quickly pulled my hand away from Shane, though not soon enough causing an odd look from Sam. “What’s going on, man?” He asked more accusatory than curiously. 

“Tessa hired me. I’ll get started, I remember where everything is.” Shane’s voice was so cold even the summer heat couldn’t melt it. He let the door almost slam behind him. 

“You hired, Shane?” Sam asked, an almost worried look in his eyes. I nodded, standing up and taking mine and Shane’s plates to the sink. 

“I need help, the closer we get to D-day, the longer it’s taking me to do things, plus after I have the baby I’ll need someone who knows my farm to care for it for atleast a couple weeks. I have too many animals out there that need me, and no offense honey, but you are not much of a farm hand” 

I tried to sound like I was joking, patting his shoulder and kissing his cheek, thankfully, Sam laughed it off and moved on. He was holding a bag and turned my attention to it as he pulled out a handmade crocheted baby blanket. 

“Oh, that’s so precious” I said softly as I took it in my hands, admiring the pale yellows and greens. “It’s hard to believe that we’re going to be able to wrap an actual human up in something so tiny” I unfolded the blanket, to get a better look at the pattern when I noticed Sam was no longer standing. “Saaaaaammy?” I held the blanket close to me, he was down on one knee. 

“Tessa, I love you in more words than I could come up with. I just, I want us to be a real family for this sweet baby we’re bringing Into this world. Will you marry me? Be Mrs. Drury?” 

I was dumbfounded. I rested my hand on my stomach and smiled sweetly at Sam, nodding yes. Sam, per his usual self, jumped up shouting in glee, and spinning me around. 

“You won’t regret this Tess. We are going to have the best life” Sam whispered softly


	15. The wedding

“You look beautiful, Tessa” my fathers voice beamed from behind me. I turned and smiled, embracing him in a hug. “Sam is one lucky man, he better remember that, not too many young ladies I know that go out of their way to save their daddy some money” he kissed my forehead as I looked over to the bouquet of magnolias I’d be carrying down the isle. Everything about today seemed perfect... and wrong, just like almost every day since I woke up from having beers on the dock with Shane. 

“I wish granddaddy was here” I whispered softly, fiddling with the locket around my neck that held his photo “I always imagined he’d be the one preaching the service, ya know?” My dad pulled me in for another hug. 

“Don’t you worry a bit. Ol’ man Lewis is going to do a fine job today.” My mother spoke from my bedroom. I took a deep breath, nodding, putting my earrings in. I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d done this before. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted Shane at the end of that aisle. 

I felt like a horrible bride for feeling all of those things. 

-

“Ahem, if you all will please direct your attention to the south, here comes the bride” I heard Lewis announce. The whole town was present. 

One step at a time, Tess. One step at a time. 

Even though my eyes should have been focused on Sam. I couldn’t help but look at Shane, staring at me. That same longing in his eyes that I had felt all day. 

I just thanked Yoba that neither him nor Sam could see me through the veil covering my face. I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew marrying Sam so we would have a whole family was the right thing to do. But my heart wanted Shane. Sam was fun, but in my heart I knew Shane was supposed to be my future. I swallowed my pride as I walked passed Shane, the glossing of his eyes enough to bring me to tears myself. 

I must have been lost in my thoughts cause I didn’t even hear Lewis ask who gives me away, I just knew my hands were suddenly in Sams’. When we got to the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part, I looked out to Shane, who’s hands were in fists and eyes set on his shoes. A moment, I prayed he’d speak up, tell me he loves me, and we could run away together. 

But, fate doesn’t work like that. 

I’ll be happy in my life with Sam. He’ll be a good father, a good husband. 

We kiss. His lips are soft. He tastes like the spearmint gum he has in his mouth. I hear our town cheer, we smile and exit. 

I look back for Shane, he’s taking a swig from a flask.


	16. Jealousy isn’t a cute trait

Those hot summer days quickly turned into cool autumn breezes. Making my work days just a smidge easier on my body since I was carrying 20lbs extra on my stomach. 

I watched through my duck coop window, as Shane installed my new sprinkler system. It was going to take a lot of the brunt work out of my crops for the season, and here on out. I handed my basket of duck eggs over to Ace to who happily scampered over to the shipping bin, grabbing a new, empty basket to bring with him. He was such a smart dog. 

“How’s it coming?” I asked walking up behind Shane. He jumped a bit, I must have startled him. 

“They should be working now. You need anything else from me today?” 

“Come inside and eat some lunch. I’ll get you settled up for the week.” I smiled up at him and he ran his fingers back through his purple locks, adding a small nod. He knew there was no use in arguing with me. 

He sat down at the table, turning on the TV to our typical Thursday afternoon gridball Rerun. I sat down stuffed peppers and cornbread muffins with some butter on the table and joined him. We ate in silence, intently watching the game.

This game particularly left me with that weird sense of Deja Vu id felt more and more frequently. 

“They got this one” Shane spoke. 

They scored. I wondered if he was still feeling off too. 

“They win this game.” I said slowly, peeking at Shane from my peripheral. He nodded, stuffing another pepper in his mouth. 

“I remember it-“  
“Like I was there” we said in unison. We started at each other for a moment when the crowd started cheering. 

The players ran around, jumping and holding each other, then the camera panned to the crowd. Cheering fans, jumping, screaming, strangers hugging, and couples kissing... only it wasn’t any random couple kissing on the screen. It was Shane and I, or what looked to be us anyways. I grabbed the remote from him, rewinding the scene back to just before and pausing. 

“Is that us?” I asked softly. Walking up to the television turning my head ever so slightly to examine the image. Shane seemed just as confused, standing beside me staring. 

“We didn’t go to a game together, did we?” He asked I looked up at him and shook my head. 

“We talked about it, but never made it... cause ... well....” I didn’t finish my sentence, just motioned to all of the stomach I had in front of my body. 

We stared at the picture for a few moments longer, when the front door slammed open. 

“Tesssss!” I quickly turned around. Sam came in holding pizza from the Stardrop. “‘Sup Shane?” He added noting the other mans presence in our home. Shane responded with a head nod. Then turned off the TV. 

“You are the best, babe.” I said allowed, wrapping my arms around sams waist. I had been craving Gus’ pizza almost my entire pregnancy. 

“Welp, same time tomorrow?” I nodded to Shane waving him goodbye. 

“What was that?” Sam asked quietly. I shrugged, pulling a slice from the box, the cheese stringing along. 

“Thursday gridball re-run. I like having someone to watch it with since I can’t really catch the games on Sundays” I added non-chalant . It wasn’t any secret that Sam wasn’t a fan of sports. He stayed quiet nodding, not having much of a response. 

“Elijah has been really active today” I added, attempting to make conversation with my husband. Sam smiles, walking over to me and kneeling down to talk to my stomach. 

“Charlotte, has been giving mommy a rough time, huh?”

I smiled at Sam as he talked to my stomach, moving his hands, waiting to feel the familiar thump he’d become accustomed too. A couple weeks ago, Sam has decided that we would be having a girl, and that my “feeling” was wrong. So we were in a constant battle of “Elijah vs Charlotte” when we discussed the growing child in my uterus. 

“Uncle Sebastian and Auntie Abby are coming over in a little bit, you’ll really like them when you meet them. They’re Mommy and Daddy’s best friends” Sam cooed. I felt the familiar thump of a little foot, against Sams hand. Sams blue eyes lit up, excited, like a kid in a candy shop. 

It was really sweet how much he already loved this tiny human, that we hadn’t even met yet. It really warmed my heart to see how much he cared. 

“When are they coming over? Should I make something?” 

Sam let out a chuckle, motioning his hand to the pizza, and I shook my head. 

“No sir, they are NOT eating my pizza” I added defensively, picking up the pizza box and placing it in the fridge. “Mama ain’t sharing” 

Sam smiled, wrapping me in a hug “whatever Mama wants, mama gets.” 

“Mama will make chili for the friends, and I’ll have some for Shane also tomorrow.” Sam’s face fell at the mention of Shane’s name, a small sneer appearing. 

“I don’t know why you feed him everyday anyway” 

I huffed, pulling away from his arms. Pulling my blonde hair back and pulling some meat out of the fridge. 

“Sam. He’s working his ass off on my farm-“

“Our farm.”

“Oh, I’m sorry? OUR farm? Sammy, I love you but I’ve never seen you so much as lift a finger to do anything for my farm, and honey, if you haven’t noticed, I have crops that need to be harvested, animals need caring For, and this farm is where 98% of our money comes from, I pay Shane to help me, cause physically, I can’t do it alone anymore, especially with a baby. I need the help, and if you’re not going to help, someone needs too” 

Sam took a step back, running a hand back through his blonde tresses. “I wasn’t trying to turn this into a fight” 

I rolled my eyes sharply and with an exaggerated huff. “You did just that though, Sammy. Jealously is not a cute trait.” I added


	17. Chapter 17: Something is wrong...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all I’m so sorry this update has taken forever I’m so sorry 😂 I’m going to try to be better anyways, On with the show

“Sweet Charlie-girl, auntie Abby can’t wait to meet you!” Abigail ran her hand over my belly, talking to the bump that was practically in her lap. We were sitting on the couch, my legs over her lap and the boys were sitting at the table. 

“Elijah is going to have a complex getting called Charlotte all the time” Sebastian added. I laughed, high fiveing him through the air. 

“Or Charlie is going to have a complex about being called Elijah.” Sam added. I rolled my eyes while Abby agreed with my husband. I absent mindedly starting playing with my mermaids pendant around my neck. 

“So we’re planning on leaving around 10, right?” Abigail asked. We had all made plans to go into Zuzu for the day, Sam and I needed a few extra things for the baby before he made his arrival. 

“Right. I’ve got to make sure I get Shane started, and I’ve got to pay him up, I was supposed to today, but we got distracted by the game.” Abigail shot me a look, the way best friends do. I shoved her softly and rolled my eyes, standing up and waddling my way to my husband. “Would y’all be upset if I didn’t join you tonight for pool? I think I’m just going to call it an early night.”

Sam smiled softly at me, kissing my head and placing a gentle hand on my stomach. “Not at all, babe. You and Charlotte rest, and I’ll see you when I get home.”

The three of them packed up and left shortly after, I changed into my jammies and turned on the television, watching the television when my phone dinged. 

It was shane. 

“You at home?”

“Yup”

“Can I come over?”

I paused, thinking it over. He was usually at the saloon on Friday night, and he must have noticed that I didn’t come in with the rest of the gang. I responded with a thumbs up, and sending a quick text of “come in when you get here” 

Ace laid down beside the couch and I subconsciously reached down and pet him as the movie played. The time travelers wife. I’d seen it so many times, and I hated making Sam watch it with me, cause he did not enjoy it at all. 

“Tess?” Shane’s voice rang heavily through the house, I simply lifted my hand up and waved as he came in, “comfy?” He asked simply. 

I was suddenly aware of my pajamas, or lack there of really. A sports bra and some silky pants. I pulled me knees up, letting Shane sit before a laid my feet on his lap. 

Shane subconsciously started rubbing them and I let out a soft moan, the extra weight from the baby and pregnancy in general Caused a lot of swelling. We watched the movie in silence for a bit. Shane’s newly callused hands continuing to work their magic on my swollen feet. 

“We going to talk about what we saw earlier?” Shane piped. I didn’t move my eyes aways from the television, shrugging. 

“I don’t understand how we saw what was obviously us, when we didn’t go to that game” I stated blandly, before mouthing the next line of the movie. 

“Remember how, the day after the night at the docks, we were both feeling... off? What if something happened?” Shane asked. I turned my head, his hands still on my feet rubbing them. 

“What would have happened, Shane? They say there are 7 people in the world that look like you, maybe those were our people.” 

“At the same game, Tess? With eachother? In my Joja jacket with the hole right here!? With that mane of blonde curls?” Shane dramatically dug his finger into the hole that was near his collarbone, and I subconsciously tucked my hair behind my ear. 

“I don’t know, Shane.” I almost whispered, sitting up, the distance between us being no more than the round of my stomach. “It just doesn’t make sense...” 

“Can I ask you something?” I nodded, looking into his violet eyes. 

“If this hadn’t of happened, would it be me? Here with you?” I sighed deeply, knowing I needed to tread lightly with my answer, I was a married woman after all. 

“I mean, honestly, I’d like to say yes. I really think we had a good thing going before... well before Elijah.” I spoke softly, laying my hand on my stomach, feeling the wiggle in my stomach. 

“That is so wild to watch” Shane’s voice rang through the air, his eyes laid on my bare stomach. 

“You want to feel?” I ask, grabbing his hand. Shane nodded slowly as I laid his large calloused, warm hand on my stomach, the baby kicking it right away, and again. 

Shane’s face lit up in wonder as he felt the tiny human in my womb continue kicking his hand. Watching his face was honestly one of the more entertaining parts of my night. 

“I don’t know how, but that was us at that gridball game. And I’ve been dreaming about you still... and that family I told you about... and I know it’s impossible but I can’t help but feel like this baby, is mine...” Shane’s words were rushed as he spoke quicker than his typical self did. 

“So at my appointment, Harvey said something about the timing not matching up. That from when I had sex with Sam I shouldn’t have been as far along as I was...” I started, recalling that weird conversation. “But correct me if I’m wrong, we never had sex, I mean I tried but you turned me down” I giggled recalling that drunken night. 

“I didn’t turn you down, I just didn’t want to sleep with you while you were intoxicated. I’m not exactly a catch Tess, I wanted you to be sure you were doing what you wanted and not what the alcohol was telling you, you wanted”

I sat up, taking in his words in slowly, and holding tightly to his hand, closing the gap between our bodies. 

“Shane I want you to listen very closely to me” I got close enough I could feel his breath on my face “I would have never, EVER regretted sleeping with you that night, the alcohol just gave me the courage to try. YOU, Shane Daniels, are a bigger catch than you realize. Your sweet, and caring, you take care of Jas, and love her like your own even though you have no real obligation to. You are dedicated, and hardworking and you’ve never once let me down when I’ve needed you, even when I haven’t deserved it.” I felt myself leaning in closer to him as I spoke, never losing eye contact with him. “So yeah, Shane, it would have been you, 100 percent, if I hadn’t gotten pregnant” 

At this point I could feel his breath against my lips, and the sexual tension between us rising, neither daring pull away, afraid of the moment fleeting. Shane carefully lifted his hand to tuck a rouge curl behind my ear, and after doing so, his hand lingered in my hair, and just as suddenly, he pressed his lips against mine. I felt an incredible rush of emotion, and a rush of those dreams we had both admitted to having. 

My brain flooded with these memories from my dreams of Shane holding our daughter, and wrestling with Jas and the niece I had that our brains drummed up. All of us at the beach, him holding my hand during The birth of the baby, him crying holding her for the first time. Shane standing beside me in court as I was granted full legal custody of my niece. Shane holding me while I cried and had some breakdown over my family. Jas and my niece wearing matching dresses for winter star, a big bow on the baby’s head, and Shane I dressed up for a photo that said “Happy Winter Star! Love, the Trainor-Daniels Family; Shane, Tessa, Jas, Willow, and Baby Kira” 

Wait. Willow. That’s the same name Sam had mentioned when I first brought up bringing my parents to town. I quickly broke Shane’s kiss, he had pulled me into his lap at some point and his eyes looked incredibly disappointed when I did. 

“Something’s wrong...” I whispered


	18. Just changing light bulbs

“Something’s wrong...” I whispered 

Shane looked utterly confused at this point. “Is it the baby?”

I shook my head vigorously. “Kissing you, just now-“

“I shouldn’t have done that” Shane interrupted. Again, I shook my head. 

“That’s not what I mean, just listen. Kissing you I was flooded with these memories... that I thought were from dreams I was having. Us and the girls you mentioned months ago, remember?” Shane nodded as I was up and pacing the floor now, Shane’s eyes never leaving my face as I did. “I might sound crazy, but what if they weren’t... dreams, at all? But real actual memories. Abigail has mentioned on multiple occasions the wizard that lives in the tower south of the ranch and how he speaks of these crazy spells... I think, that maybe Sam did something...” 

Shane stood up placing his broad hands overtaking my tiny shoulders on my frame. “Listen, I don’t think you’re crazy.” I bit my lip waiting for him to continue. “I don’t understand why but maybe you’re just in a place-“

“No. Shane. I’m not in any place. I saw a card from winter star, and it was signed the “Trainor-Daniels family” and at the bottom had all of our names. Shane” I pointed to him as I started rambling off names “Tessa, Jas” I stopped once more. Taking a deep breath. “Willow, and Baby Kira.” 

Shane looked like he was hit by a truck in that moment. “Willow. Looked just like you.” I nodded. “Why does that name make me feel so... alone?” He asked softly, more to himself than anything. I took another deep breath, this time placing my hands on his shoulders. Though they seemed to get lost on them. “When I asked Sam if he wanted to have his family over to meet mine he said that he didn’t think I spoke to them after I “took in willow” and I just kind of brushed it off at the time. But that can’t be a coincidence right? And then seeing us together at the grid all game, and, and” I was starting to cry, breathing rapidly. I wasn’t sure what to think honestly. Sam was my husband. I should have been able to trust him, but right now I wasn’t sure what to believe...

Shane let go of my shoulders and I let my hands slide down his chest to my sides as he rubbed his temples “I need a drink” 

Those four little words were enough to make me worried. He’d been sober since that day we took Jas to the beach, I didn’t want my possibly crazy self to ruin that. 

“No you don’t, Shane. But if you’re up for it, do you want to go see Dr. Harvey for a DNA test? Maybe we can put these feelings to rest and find out if I’m crazy or not.” Shane contemplates the idea, but I didn’t really wait for an answer before sending a text to the doctor before it got any later. 

**Hey, Doc. I need to see you ASAP**

Shane ultimately agreed, reassuring me he didn’t think I was a crazy. And no sooner than I agreed, Harvey responded simply with ‘come on in’ 

-

I held Shane’s hand and arm the entire way to the office. The rest of the town was in the saloon so I wasn’t worried about being seen, I just need the touch and safety of someone else. Harvey met us at the door, confused by me holding Shane’s hand. I mean, I get it, I’d be confused too. 

“I need a DNA test done” I said softly as he locked the clinic door behind us. 

“You shouldn’t lie to your doctor, Tessa” Harvey spoke, nodding towards shane and referencing the conversation we had when I first found out I was pregnant. 

“Look, I didn’t lie. Neither Shane nor I have any recollection of sleeping together, but some weird things have come up and I just need to know without a doubt that this baby belongs to my husband.” I pointed at Shane when I said ‘husband’ not only confusing Shane and Harvey, but myself, trying to save the embarrassment I added, “that was just a general point. I meant Sam, obviously.” 

Both the other males nodded, only Shane had a small smirk on his face as we went into an exam room. Harvey just started speaking. 

“I’m going to draw blood from you Tess, and Shane, I’ll need to swab your cheeks. How this works is baby’s DNA Floats around in your blood stream, Tessa, and we’re able to take that DNA and compare it to yours. Then we take Shane’s DNA we get from the cheek swab and compare. The results will take about a week and show either 0% paternity or 99% paternity. It’s incredibly accurate” Shane and I both nodded as he drew my blood. 

“And Tessa, it’s not my place to speak on your illicit affairs, but I do recommend speaking with your husband. I can refer you both to a counselor in Zuzu if you need one to work on your marriage.” I let out a breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding in. 

“Thanks Doc, but I’ll wait til these results come In. Can you just text me as soon as you know something?” He simply nodded, looking between Shane and I, with disapproving eyes. 

As we walked out, we could hear the clinic door lock behind us. I checked my phone and it was still a bit of time before Sam would return home. 

“We’re going shopping for the baby tomorrow. The band is.” I spoke softly, tangling my fingers into Shane’s once more. “Robin made a new crib for us, but I want to decorate the nursery...” I kept rambling a bit, unsure of what to say to fill the in the silence. 

Back at the farm. Shane sat down on one of the rocking chairs on my porch, placing his face in his hands. I could tell he wanted to talk, but couldn’t come up with words to say. 

“Go on.” It was a simple statement, but enough to make Shane aware that I knew something was up. I sat beside him, nothing but a small end table separating our chairs. 

“What’s going to happen if I am the father?” Shane asked sitting back and staring at me with those gorgeous violet eyes of his. 

“I’m going to have to have a big talk with Sam. Or maybe I’ll go see the wizard first to see if he knows what could have happened” I thought out loud, rocking myself slowly.

“You absolutely will not go see some creepy wizard by yourself” Shane stated blankly. I blinked in his direction, curiosity of his sudden protectiveness filling my eyes. 

“Then you can come with me. If it’s positive and your the dad, don’t you think we deserve answers?” I reached over and grabbed his hand. His grip tightening on my fingers. 

“Hey, Shane.” Sam’s voice floated for the path entering the farm. I pulled my hand away slowly, as not to seem jumpy, suddenly wishing I had a glass or something on the table. “What’s up man?” 

Sams voice always sounded so fake toward Shane and it really rubbed me wrong a lot. 

“Nothing man, just finished the game up earlier with Tess. About to head home. Have a goodnight.” Shane stood and waved, Sam standing beside me on the porch until Shane’s figure was just a shadow on the horizon. 

“So now your having him over when I’m not at home and when you’re not paying him” Sam spoke without looking at me. His eyes still watching where Shane disappeared. I let out a sigh. 

“You’re my husband, not my keeper. I can have friends over” I stated standing, attempting to walk around Sam, but he stood in my way. 

“Not friends who are into you, he could easily take advantage of you, I don’t want you to get hurt” Sam spoke softly, running his scarred fingers down my arm gently. 

“Sammy, he wouldn’t hurt me. Or take advantage of me. You don’t know him like I do, okay? He’s sweet and we’re just into some of the same things.” I tiptoed to kiss Sams cheek. “No worries, love. Now let’s get to bed so we can go shopping in the morning.” I grabbed sams hand and let him follow behind me. 

-

The alarm went off far too early for my taste this morning and surprisingly, Sam wasn’t in bed. He was notorious for sleeping in. I listened quietly through the house and heard the coffee machine going. I slipped carefully out of bed, Quietly opening the bedroom door. I liked watching Sam when he was up early, it was a quiet reverse from the norm. I watched as he stumbled a bit after pulling his cup from under our kuerig, And counted softly to himself as he poured his sugar in. He took a sip and immediately spit it out with a most disgusted look on his face. A giggle escaped my mouth and his head snapped up to look at me still standing in the doorway of our bedroom. 

“Mornin’ beautiful” he said just loud enough for me to hear. “I don’t see how you and seb can drink this stuff black...” I giggled again, walking over to the fridge and pulling the milk out for him, kissing him on the cheek as I sat it down. 

“I actually don’t like it black, it’s just healthier, my favorite is flavored creamer in it.” He smiled kissing the top of my head “I love learning new things about you Tessa Drury” I smiled, and felt a familiar pang of sadness that had been happening far too frequently anymore. 

A knock came at the door pretty early this morning. “Shane’s working today?” Sam asked I nodded, walking to answer the door. “Yeah for a few hours. I need some things finished for the spring season. Hey Shane, come in” I stated up at the purple haired man at the door a small smile on his face as he nodded a greeting to me. He waved at Sam as he took of his shoes at my door and walked to the table to sit. 

“Let me go grab your cash for the week, sorry I forgot about it yesterday” i ran up the stairs to the large open living area that I mainly used for storage and pulled from our stash of money counting out the money to myself. 

I also listened for a moment to see if Sam would make any kind of comment to Shane and nothing. 

I walked slowly back down the stairs to see Shane at the table on his phone and Sam, leaning over the cabinet, also on his phone. 

“For old co-workers y’all would think you’d be a little more chatty” I said with a small giggle. Neither man responded. “Tough crowd....” I sat across from Shane, and he put his phone away. 

“Okay, here” I started counting out his weekly check of $800 to him, and put it to the side after I counted aloud. Then I pulled out another stack “overtime- you pulled two extra hours Tuesday and your typical 3 on Saturday... so ... $150” 

Shane smiled, again not saying much, me assuming it was because of Sams presence in the room. 

“That’s a lot of money” Sam spoke casually. “Can we afford that?” 

“Yes, honey. We can. A good farm hand is a necessity for the growth I’ve experienced. I’m going to take Shane out and show him what I need done before we leave” I stated, 

Sam nodded “I’m going to get dressed and make sure Sebs up. You know how he is” I nodded slipping in my work boots, using Shane’s arm as a balance and thanking him quitely 

“I’ll be ready when y’all get here and we can hit the road. I think Abs had to open the shop this morning, so y’all might want to grab her too” I almost yelled as I walked out the door, looking back for confirmation and just receiving a thumbs up from my husband. 

As the door shut behind me, and we walked to the chicken coop, it was pretty silent between Shane and I. 

“Good morning ladies” Shane yelled time the chickens as the flocked towards him, he pat each hens head and called them by name, I sat up post on a hay bale while he put eggs in a basket I kept in the coop. 

“I know what to do, you could have spent the morning with... him” Shane places almost a vile sound on ‘him’ when referring to Sam. I wiggled a bit, I could feel the hay poking threw my silk pajama pants. 

“Honestly, I just wanted to finish our talk from last night...” my sentence trailed behind my thoughts, that really would fall into “illicit affair” as Harvey put it last night. My body seemed to act on its own as I slid of the hay bell, listening to shane talk. 

“I don’t know, Tess. What if we’re just over reacting to things, I just don’t-“ I turned him towards me and pushed him gently to the hay bale behind him, forcing him to sit. I crawled into his lap, straddling him, and I suddenly was incredibly aware of my growing stomach. I pushed the thought to the side leaning into his lips, kissing him deeper than the night prior. I slid my tongue across his lips, and he let our tongues dance together without hesitation. I felt his hand rest on the back of my neck, and the other in the small of back, pulling me as close to him as he could. 

It was completely and totally one of those moments where you feel sparks flying and the world fades to nothing around you cause your only focused on who your with in that moment. 

I broke the kiss to say something, but his lips placed small kisses along my jawline, then my neck, distracting me from whatever it was I had planned to say. I snaked my arms around neck, a small moan escaping my throat as he kissed a tender spot on my neck, then he focused there, as if pulling moans out of me was a game, and he wanted to see how many he could acquire. With each small suck, or nip, he’d get what he wanted and I could feel him stiffen beneath me. I ran my fingers up through his hair, grabbing a fistful as he played more. I felt my breaths stagger as he moved his hand from the small of my back to my ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Shane...” I moaned softly. And it felt so natural to hear his name slip out of my mouth like that. “... the house is empty” I stated, my turn now to lay an assault charge on his neck, landing below his earlobe on his neck, and immediately nipping him as he carried me, legs wrapped around him into my home. I could feel him kick off his shoes and slide my work boots off, and head toward the bedroom immediately laying me gently on the bed. My lips still pressed against his neck. Only my hand slipped its way down to Shane’s now rock hard member. I could already tell he was larger than Sam. He was certainly girthier. I grazed my fingers across his pants unbuttoning them and Pushing them to his ankles for him to slide off. A deep growl came from his throat as I rubbed my hand across his member. 

He lifted me up and pulled my bra off, tossing it to the side, rolling my nipples between his index and thumb. It was like he knew exactly where to go and what to do. He stood up, pulling his boxer briefs off, and he quickly threw off my silk pants and panties. What I didn’t expect was for him to lower his mouth to my womanhood. Sucking on my clit and flicking it with his tounge. His name slipped off my tongue again and I was honestly in a state of ecstasy. He moved his thumb to clit, rubbing it gently in a circle as he slid his tongue inside me. 

“Yoba, Shaaaaane.” The more I said his name the harder he seemed to work to pleasure me. My fingers were tangled in his hair, and I felt my toes curl as I neared my climax. It was like he knew my body better than Sam ever had, and this was our first time having any kind of intercourse. He positioned himself at my entrance leaning over and moving a curl out of my face. 

“Are you sure?” He asked softly. 

“More than anything.” I responded back. And yoba, did it feel _right_ he filled me up in a way I didn’t know possible and my fingers dig into his back, a gasp and loud moan escaping my lips. His thrusts were strong and slow at first, and his speed increased with each thrust until we were both in a state of bliss, he sat up, grabbing my hips to pull me into him and he started hitting me in my spot. 

“Shane. Baby, I’m going to cum” I spoke quickly. Feeling my climax approach. And no sooner than I said that, he was moaning my name and his load was releasing inside me, sending me over the edge. He pulled and laid beside me for a moment, staring into my eyes and as horrible as it sounds, I had never felt such love from a moment after. Shane kissed my lips softly, and leaned his forehead against mine. “Sam will be back soon, you better get dressed”

He stood up and began to dress himself and with a huff I rolled off the bed and did the same. Only putting on actual clothes. A sundress. Shane sat on the edge of the bed watching me as I got dressed when I heard the front door pop open. “Babe!” 

“Shit” I whispered quickly, coming up with a plausible explanation as to why Shane was in their bedroom and not out on the farm doing anything. “We’re in here! Our closet lightbulb went out and I couldn’t find my shoes.” I stated Sam walked in looking between the now standing Shane, and the doorway of our closet where I was looking for a cute pair of flats to wear with the dress. 

“The ceilings are too high for me to change it without climbing. I didn’t think that was a smart move, so I called Shane in, since you weren’t back yet. Ya ready?” I spoke quickly giving Sam a kiss on the cheek before turning the light off. 

Shane didn’t turn to say goodbye as he left the porch, just threw his hand in the air with a quick wave, leaving a pang of guilt in my chest. I felt Sams hand in the small of my back as he led me to the jeep so we could head into the city with our friends.


	19. That’s enough, right?

“Charlie needs this” Abigail squealed pulling a black onesie with a sparkly tutu off a rack holding it up for sam and I to look at. ‘Daddy’s future rockstar’ written across the front.

“While I’m sure Elijah could rock whatever we put him in, I don’t think he’d appreciate glitter tutus” Sebastian spoke up, across the isle looking at specs on swings. 

“Okay, but really, I’m trying to keep it all very gender neutral. Or boyish, then accessorize with hair bows” I stated casually piling a couple of grey and yellow onesies onto my arm. 

I really enjoyed hanging out, the four of us. It didn’t put so much pressure on mine and Sams marriage and gave us the ability to relax a bit. 

“What is the difference between theses basinets!?” Sam almost yelled looking between tags and models. I giggled walking over to him. 

“Why does a baby need a bassinet that vibrates?”

“It reminds them of being in the womb and can help relieve gas pain. We had one like this for Kira and I -“ 

Sams face dropped, looking like he saw a ghost. I was confused to his reaction, for a moment, until I realized what I had said. I wasn’t sure how to back track from that or why I had a memory of a child that probably never existed. 

“Tessssss!!! Look at these bedding sets!” I quickly made an about face and went to stand by Abby, trying to keep my composure over all of today’s events. “Look this one has little ducks, aren’t those like one of your favorites?” I nodded, the familiarity of the particular set sitting at my finger tips. 

“Abs, do you think we can convince the boys to go get us a table somewhere while we check out? I’m starving.” She nodded, knowing I only tried to send them away when I had secrets and needed to talk. Once they walked out of the store I dropped the onesies on top of a boxed bassinet and stared Abby down like a hawk. 

“Okay, they’re going to the pizzeria across the street. What’s going on?” I grabbed her hand in mine and looked her in the eyes. I needed her to know how serious I was. 

“I need you to swear on Yoba, or your mom, or whatever, that you will keep what I say between us. Not even Seb.” Her face turned to worried and nodded feverishly. 

“Yeah, Tess. Absolutely. What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, preparing what I was about to say. “I have a lot to say so please don’t interrupt me, okay?” More nods, and a hand squeeze. “Shane and I were lowkey seeing eachother when I ended up pregnant-“ 

“Yeah Tess, I know-“

“I said don’t interrupt. Well we had this night out on the docks and the next morning everything felt... I don’t know... off. And the funny thing was it wasn’t just me, but Shane too. And weird things were happening for weeks, with no explanation, including us having similar dream of us having this ... this family. And it was Wild cause like, one of them was my brothers daughter I had custody of, her name was Willow, and EJ doesn’t have a kid. I would know. He would tell me something like that even if he was strung out... and, we had a daughter together. Apparently her name was Kira. I just... I don’t know, Abby. But the more Shane and I talk... and the more we... um.. _do_ the more we both seem to remember even if it’s subconsciously, apparently. I don’t know what happened- but I think... I think Sam did something, Abby.” 

“That’s... a lot. What do you mean, do?”

I grabbed Abigails shoulders and pulled her close to my lips. “Shane and I slept together” I heard her gasp right away and pull back from me. 

“Tessa!” I shook my head. 

“Abigail, seriously I have never felt so in touch with someone in my life. Everything felt right with him, it was like he knew me and what I needed and wanted without having ever done a single thing before...” Abigails face looked puzzled as she searched her brain for thoughts. 

“Okay, so I understand what you mean. I felt a super sense of deja vu doing _this_ ” she motioned to the entire store and to the pile of baby items sat at our feet. “I remember telling Sam about rasmodeous and stuff. And he was so intense about it. Wanting to know more. I hear there’s a hut you can take items to, like a prismatic shard for instance, and it can do crazy things, legend even says it can turn children into doves, and even erase memories.” 

“What did he do?” I whispered to myself, then looking up at Abigail “Shane and I had a DNA test ran on the baby. I’ll know in a week or so if Shane’s the father” 

Abigail again looked confused, I tried to explain. “If Sam really did something, we will know if Shane’s the father, cause you until this morning we had never slept together.” Abigail nodded starting to load things onto the register. 

-

Once Abby and I got to the the pizzeria the boys already had a large pizza and breadsticks waiting at the table. 

“Yaaaaas” I sang and did a little shimmy as I grabbed my first slice and bit in. 

“It’s cute how you dance when you eat” Sam joked leaning into me. 

“Look, Preggos gotta eat.” I respond taking another bite of the pizza. 

-

Coming home after a long day in the city is always my favorite thing. Nothing beats it really. Zuzu was fun but Stardew was home, and I never forgot that when I lived in Zuzu, or in the suburbs. This old farmhouse that I spent my summers and every break from school in, this was home. It’s where my heart felt full and where the days of childhood lingered. Honestly, I was really thrilled about raising my own kid here and seeing the nursery come together was really bringing it home. 

“Were these monitors really necessary?” Sam asked placing the camera on the crib while I rocked in the recliner we picked out for the room. 

“Absolutely, if you’re at work and I’m out on the farm I need to be able to not only hear, but see that baby Is okay.” I stated. “Or, knowing sebby, he can just hack right in and check on the little one for us”

Sam nodded, not really arguing with me. 

“Can we talk about something?” He asked slowly. I nodded, waiting intently for Sams question. 

“If Shane, ya know, showed me the ropes, do you think it would take some stress off of you with the farm?” He didn’t look at me when I asked, and his defensive was down even thinking of such a question. I treaded lightly with my response. 

“I mean, yeah. The farms growing faster than I can keep up. That’s why Shane’s such a huge help. He understands what he’s doing and handles things without confirming every little thing with me. I can just tell him what I need and it’s taken care of.” I paused for a moment, waiting for some sort of reaction from my husband, but he just simply sat on the old bed across from me. “You’ve never shown an interest in the farm before though. Why now?”

He looked up at me, pushing a blonde strand out of his eye. “Honestly, Tess, it bothers me how much you can rely on him when I’m the one who you’re married too.”

I took in his words, and nodded with understanding. 

“Sammy, you are my husband. I rely on you plenty. And if you’re not going to enjoy taking care of the farm like Shane and I do, you don’t have too. I just want you to be happy.” He smiled kissing me softly on the lips. Then once more on the forehead. 

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Sammy”

-

Sam and I made love that night for the first time in awhile, so I was a little surprised when I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a note on the lamp saying “I’ll meet you at church, xoxo” it was odd for him to go anywhere so early but I figured he’d have a surprise or something for me. I slipped on my work clothes to take care of the animals before returning home to shower and get ready for church. My curls fell on my shoulders, and the purple sundress I picked out gently laid across my bump. I smoothed out there back and making a small turn in the mirror before leaving to head to service, I had some time so I figured I’d drop by the ranch to see if marnie would like to walk with me. We’d become good friends since I purchased my farm needs from her and sometimes on sundays her and Jas would walk with sam and I to service. 

I knocked on the ranches door, expecting Marnie, but instead Shane answered, without a hello, just looking me over. He appeared still tired but was dressed in a button up and slacks, with his face shaved and hair combed to the side. I had a quick flashback to seeing him across from me at the alter, but I tried shaking it off. 

“You look very handsome” I said softly, he had a small smirk on his face. 

“Going to church with marnie and Jas this morning... Jas asked me too.” I knew Shane wasn’t a believer of Yoba, but I thought it was sweet that he’d drone through the hour just for Jas. 

“Miss. Tessa!!!” A little voice came from behind Shane, he stepped to the side and let her peak through. “Did you come to walk with us? Where’s Mr. Sam?” I smiled at her, running my fingers through one of her pigtails. 

“I did! He had to go do something this morning, so I figured you might like some company walking to church” she nodded her head, turning to yell for her aunt marnie. 

“How she has so much energy is beyond me...” Shane’s sentence trailed off into a sleepy yawn as he motioned for me to come in. “Marnie‘ll just be a minute.” I nodded walking to their kitchen, and grabbing a cinnamon roll off the counter. Shane sat at the table stirring his coffee. “Can we... uh... talk about yesterday?” I felt my chest tighten. Talking about my indiscretions on the lords day, and not to a pastor, felt a little out of place. But, I nodded, and sat down beside him so we could talk in hushed whispers. 

“What did yesterday mean to you?” He took a long drink of his black coffee, waiting for me to answer. 

What was I supposed to say? I took a deep breath, taking a small bite of my cinnamon roll.   
“Shane...” was all I managed to come up with. Pathetic, I know. 

“It’s not that hard of a question, Tess.” He whispered. 

I took a deep breath, and rubbed the back of my neck. 

“Shane, if I tell you the truth, I’m a horrible person. If I lie to you, I’m also a horrible person. What do you want from me?” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Shane reached over a squeezed my hand reassuringly. 

“Sam is my husband, I’m supposed to love him unconditionally. But Shane, yesterday, with you, there were fireworks. You loved me better than he ever has. I don’t... I don’t know, Shane.” 

I felt his eyes staring at me, while I picked. At my cinnamon roll with the hand that wasn’t being held by Shane’s. 

“Look I’m far from an expert on love and marriage. Frankly, as much as I love you, I think you’re better off with him. He’s not an alcoholic”

I was a little taken back by a few things In his little ramble. Mainly that “I love you” part. 

“Wait, you love me?” I was just literally so confused. He let out a half breath, half laugh, before he squeezed my hand and starred into my eyes. 

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid my eyes on you, but-“ 

“Okay, we better get to going- you okay Tess?” Marnies voice rang through the kitchen, noticing the tears in my eyes. I wiped them quickly and nodded. 

-

The walk to church was particularly silent, Jas between Shane and I, swinging. We walked south of the ranch and passed my in-laws, coming out of their home, also headed in to church. 

“Oh, Tess! Where’s Samson?” Jodi asked suspiciously looking from me to Shane.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. He left me a note saying he’d meet me at church. So I went by Marnies and asked if they’d like the company.” Jas let go of both mine and Shane’s hands and ran ahead with Vincent. 

As we approached the building. I noticed Sam off to the side talking to Penny. I stopped for a moment, trying to figure out what they were saying in hushed whispers. I knew I had no right to feel any sort of jealousy. Penny was his friend, just in the same was Shane was mine... and I immediately regretted that thought. Cause Shane and I definitely moved pass the friend stage, I took a deep breath pushing thoughts behind me, and approached the pair. 

Well I was going to anyway, until I saw Sam tuck a piece of loose hair behind penny’s ear, then kiss her cheek. I immediately turned and went inside for worship. He could find me inside. There were lots of plausible explanations for what I saw, right? 

-

Service ended about an hour later, and per our usual Sunday tradition, Sams family came over for dinner.

Jodi and I quietly cooked in the kitchen together. I tried my best to get along with her, and things had gotten better as the pregnancy came further along. 

“So how have you been feeling?” Jodi piped, attempting at small talk. 

“I’m a little uncomfortable, honestly. The farm still needs a lot of work and I’ve had to delegate a lot of the heavy lifting over to Shane, he’s been picking up overtime to help out, and I’m sure it’s good for him to put away for Jas.” I stoped speaking for a moment to measure the sauce I was placing into the pan. “Sam was definitely not cut out for farm work and I haven’t wanted to pressure him to help. I figure he’ll have his hands full with the baby once it’s here”

Jodi nodded, pouring in the ricotta and layering more noodles. 

“You and Shane have always seemed very close...” I bit my lip wandering if she was hinting at us walking to service this morning together. 

“I mean, yeah. We have a lot in common and he’s been a good friend since I moved back to the valley.” I looked over to my husband who was helping his little brother with a puzzle on the floor. “Kinda like Sam and um, Penny.” His blue eyes shot up to look at me. 

“Penny has always been such a sweet girl. I always thought him and her would end up together” Jodi spoke without thinking. She wasn’t a mean women, so her comment took me off guard. “Not that we don’t love having you around, sweetie” 

Kent was now staring at his wife, and honestly, I was uncomfortable. 

“Okay, well dinner is in, we will be ready to eat in a couple hours” I announced, untying my apron and taking Jodis from her. “Would anyone like wine? I can bring some up from the cellar” no one responded so I took it as a no. 

I threw the aprons into the wash and was starting a load of laundry when my phone went off. ‘Chicken boy 🐥’ flashed across my screen. 

**Hey, you alright? Seemed a bit off in service**

I wasn’t quite sure what to say, honestly, so I told him the truth. 

**Sam was being extra friendly with Penny outside of church this morning. Kinda rubbed me wrong but I’m not really allowed to be mad. Cause.... you know.**

His response was quick 

**two wrongs don’t make a right. But if he’s dumb enough to leave you... 😉**

That message made my heart flutter. If I was honest with myself I was crushing hard on a Shane. But I was content with Sam. I loved him. That was enough right?


	20. The truth comes out

over the next few days I made a conscious effort to be a better wife to Sam. I cooked breakfast for us, and hung out with him until he went to work before I went out to the farm and put work in with Shane. I also was keeping Shane at arms reach. I was feeling confused and jealous and hurt all mixed into some weird little ball of emotion. 

We were approaching a week since we took the DNA test, and the longer it took, the more I thought that maybe, I made all those strange coincidences up in my head. 

I’d done very well about having dinner ready and on the table, tonight, Sam was supposed to be bringing home pizza from Zuzu, from his job writing music for that kids television show. He normally was home by six, seven at the latest. But, as eight pm approached I got a bit concerned and decided to call him. 

_ring..... ring.... ring.... ring.... Hey, it’s Sam, you know what to do_

“Hey Sammy, it’s me. Just calling to check in. I haven’t heard anything from you, guess you’re working late tonight. Anyway, call me back and let me know what’s going on. Love you.”

I took a deep breath and turned on the tv, rubbing my belly, feeling the little one doing flips. 

The next time I checked the time it was 8:33, still no word from Sam. 

So, naturally, I called again. 

_ring..... ring.... ring.... ring.... Hey, it’s Sam, you know what to do_

“Sammy, I’m really starting to get worried. Call me back, please. Love you.”

I hung up once more, the pit of my stomach with a weird feeling, so when the phone rang, I assumed it was Sam and answered quickly. 

“Babe?”

“I mean... you haven’t called me that since we slept together, but sure, that works” 

Shane. Of course it was Shane. 

“Sorry, I uh, I thought it was Sam calling. He’s usually home a couple hours ago, but he’s not answering his phone, and I’m just worried” I blurted everything out quickly, not even sure if I took a breath, and surely he could tell that Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. 

“Hey, it’s alright. Calm down. I’ll come get you and we can go for a walk.” I took a shaky breath, nodding, like he could hear my brain rattle or something. “I’ll be there in 15, okay?” 

“Don’t hang up”

“Okay”. I listened as he rummaged in his room. Then open and closed doors. “I’m walking up the path, where do you want to walk too?” 

I sniffled, and said a quick ‘I don’t know’ and wrote a note for Sam, Incase he beat me home. 

**_Went for a walk, be home soon_**

Then I slipped on my shoes and met Shane at the front of my porch, only then hanging up the phone, and slipping it into the pocket of my shorts. 

“Thanks” I said softly, as we walked back towards the ranch. Shane just nodded, as we walked in silence. 

My brain wandered as we turned the corner walking away from the ranch now, towards the old dock we had spent nights at together before everything happened. Walking past the dock and continuing down the path. I’d check my phone ever so often, no texts or missed calls. 

“You’re worried about him” Shane stated. I nodded with a sigh and an eye roll. 

“He’s my husband... I’ve been trying, ya know? But he just seems to be pulling further and further away. And like I probably deserve it, but-“

“I told you before, Tess. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and you haven’t even told him” Shane ran his fingers through his hair and wrapped my arms across myself in a hug. 

“But also, like what if something happened in Zuzu. What if he’s hurt?”

“Someone would have called you by now if that was the case. Have you tried calling anyone?” I shook my head as we approached town. I sent out a text to Abigail and Sebastian, asking if either of them had heard from Sam this evening. Both answering fairly quickly with a form of “no”. I took a deep breath, trying to call one more time since it was now 9:30 at night. 

_ring..... ring.... ring.... ring.... Hey, it’s Sam, you know what to do_

“Sammy. Please I’m worried. Just let me know you’re okay?” I hung up staring at the brief picture of him from his contact ID. I felt the warm tears pool up in my eyes again, only this time they fell and there was no stopping them. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s fine.” I took a deep breath, rubbing my arms and taking what Shane said to heart, nodding. “You cold?” 

I shook my head no, but didn’t fight him when he handed me his ratty old Joja jacket. It was oversized on me but something about it felt comforting. We walked up past Mayor Lewis’ home and could see Alex’s figure standing at Dusty’s pen. 

As we got closer, Alex and Shane exchanged casual nods for a greeting. I must have caught his attention though because he gently grabbed my arm to stop us as we passed. 

“What’s up farm girl?” He asked gently wiping a tear off my cheek. 

I let out a broken sigh, looking to Shane and then back at Alex. “I haven’t heard from Sam since he left for work this morning. I’ve tried calling, left voicemails and texts. I’m just worried and Shane offered to take a walk with me to get my mind off of it.” 

Now, Alex and I weren’t super close but when I first moved in we had what I would call a flirtationshonship, and we had kept a friendship in place after we both seriously started dating. 

“Tess, I really don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but Sam has been back in the valley since about 5, he came through and went to Penny’s” Alex stated nodding over To the home where Penny and Pam lived. 

I didn’t know what to say, or do for that matter. Part of me wanted to go see what he was doing. The other part of me being thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. I gave Alex a hug and attempted to say thank you, but he interrupted before I could get that far. 

“Penny met him at the bus stop. They held hands through town. I’m really sorry, Tess. But your husbands an idiot”

I saw read at this point, quickly walking over to the Irving home where my husband was hiding out. Before I reached the door, I felt a hand wrapped around my arm. 

“What’re you going to do?” Shane’s voice echoed behind. I watched as my tears moistened the ground beneath me. 

“You can’t just barge in there, Tess” Alex had followed too. 

“Well I was going to until you brutes stopped me.” I managed to get a soft chuckle out of both of them for that. But honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do. So I changed my mind entirely. “Can we just go get pizza and take it back to the farm?” I asked both guys. Alex said he’d grab the pizza if Shane wanted to go ahead and take me back to the house. It was in these moments I was thankful for the friends I had made In pelican town. 

-

I tore up the note I left for Sam as soon as we got back to the house and threw it in the trash. I pushed the sleeves of Shane’s jacket up again and grabbed the remote, turning on the gridball channel cause I knew that was something both boys and I could agree on. I sat down next to Shane on the couch, and put my feet up on the coffee table, shooting a quick text to Alex telling him to come on in when he arrived.

-

Hours had passed, the three of us had finished off the pizza, and dug into the ice cream in the freezer and agreed on paranormal activity movies to continue the evening, since neither man felt okay leaving me by myself, and honestly I appreciated the company. At some point I must have dozed off cause I woke up to quieted yells. 

“I shouldn’t have to come home to my wife having random men over!” Sam was home. 

“We’re her friends, man. She was upset. We weren’t leaving her alone.” Alex was still here. 

“Besides what kind of husband just abandons his pregnant wife for a fling with hours ex” Shane. Part of me thought I should step in, but honestly, another part of me thought Sam was getting what he deserved. So I stayed quiet and listened. 

“It wasn’t a fling. Nothing happened-“

“Yoba, Save your bullshit for someone else.” Shane seethed

“I watched you and penny walking through town holding hands, Sam.” It sounded like Alex took a couple steps somewhere, knowing him, probably towards Sam. “The only person I walk through town with holding hands is, Haley, my girlfriend.” 

Sam didn’t respond. I could feel him becoming more upset by the minute. 

“And dude, she’s trying to make things work with you for some forsaken reason. But you’d rather play house with Penny-“

“It’s not what I expected, bro. Being married to Tess, And if I could take it back, honest to Yoba, I would.” That was probably one of the most hurtful things I ever had to hear. In sickness and in health should mean just that. Yet here Sam was throwing it away. My fist clenched as I waited for now incriminating evidence. 

Shane raised his voice. “Are you fucking kidding me, Sam? It doesn’t matter if it gets hard you don’t cheat on your pregnant wife. Divorce her before you do that shit-“

“Man, YOU TWO JUST MADE IT LOOK SO EASY” Sam screamed back at Shane. The room went silent and you could cut the tension with a knife. I sat up and walked over to the group of men. 

“What do you mean by that Sam?” I asked softly. His face looked like he had saw a ghost and both of the other men in the room shifted uncomfortably. “What. Do. You. Mean.” I emphasized. 

Sam rubbed his temples and went and sat at the kitchen table. Alex leaned in and whispered he was going to give Sam and I some space and to call if I needed him. He motioned for Shane to come along but Shane shook his head and stayed put. 

Once the door closed behind Alex, Sam laid his head on the table mumbling about spells. 

“Samson. I can’t hear you.”

“Tess, I’m so sorry but I ruined everything.” He was starting to cry. His hands grabbing hair on either side of his head. “You and Shane were happy, and I completely screwed up what I had going with Penny... for a crush” 

I was so confused, I sat down in the chair next to him and started rubbing his back as he cried. Something was obviously wrong although I still wasn’t sure what. Shane cleated his throat and nodded towards the door and I nodded. Shane wasn’t great in these awkward situations and honestly this felt more of a Sam and I thing anyway. 

“I need to tell you something... and I’m so scared you’re going to hate me...” Sam spoke softly. 

And that’s how he told me everything, and all the indiscretions. How Shane and I had been married for years, and had 3 kids, including my brothers daughter, Willow, and one of our own, Kira. Sam and I apparently had a short affair that I ended up pregnant during- the pregnancy is with now, and he clairfied he wasn’t sure if the baby was his or Shane’s. He explained that the longer this went on the closer Shane and I seemed to get no matter how hard he tried and that he was beginning to think fate existed for a reason. That he wasn’t sure if we could turn anything back to the way it was before and that he was sorry for ruining our friendship and that he thought we needed to divorce, that it would be best. 

It seemed blasphemous that what he was saying was true. But it all added up. The tv, the dreams, the feeling I had with Shane... but seeing Sam so defeated, also made my heart hurt. 

“Sammy...” I whispered as my fingers trailed up and down his back, he didn’t move though, so I just kept talking. “I knew something was up. Things have felt off for awhile...” I continued to explain what Shane and I had been experiencing. He turned his head and stared at me with those bloodshot blue eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Tess. Seriously.” I bit my lip. 

“How do I get them back, my kids?” He turned his face back to the table and shrugged. 

“I’m not sure you can, they turned into doves...”


End file.
